leen says..

The worrisome wonderland

2011-11-10T14:58:00.002+08:00

Today is the eve of an important day. A day where so many things are going happen tomorrow that I don't even know where to start getting excited and nervous about.

But, today I feel sad. Lack of motivation and encouragement.

Things have been happening lately that may have caused some awkwardness. Things that I didn't realize about. That probably do not exist and that it's just me feeling the awkwardness myself.

I don't know what, who, when or how it happened or even started, but it's just there.

Or at least I feel it's there.

It's like a big white elephant has came and sat between us, creating this wall that never existed before.

We didn't fight, we never argued. It's just distance.

I've been so disturbed and I can't really remember the last time I truly felt ok. Liberated. Free from worries of what's about to happen next.

Watching my every move, hearing my every thoughts before it comes out of my mouth.

Every slight comment, I overanalyze and think of every possibility that I could worry about.

And I'm getting so tired.

I wanna know, what I could do to make it go away. Or is it just a phase? A time when nothing really goes quite as right as it should be?

You miss the old me. I miss the old us. And I'm trying my best to get it to where it was before.

Because this stupid elephant is just bringing me down. And I don't like it.

I have a major debate tomorrow!

A plan of surprise that I don't know will or will not work out.

Getting all the jitters in my tummy just thinking about it.

Butterflies, go away!

Bond or no bond?

2011-06-28T14:41:00.005+08:00

I was reading back some previous posts and I can still vividly remember the emotions I felt while typing those posts out. And now, it has all been documented as history and archives. Not only are these history being written out on this old vintage blog, but on some old note books as well. They'll be good memories to read back in future.

Once again, when I read back the posts over the past 1 year, there've been too many major changes that has taken place. It might not be significant, but to my mundane days, it sure did made some big impacts.

From the time I've entered uni, and till now, the whole atmosphere and lifestyle has shifted. The friends I used to have, the bonds we forged, the way how I handled situations and how well I knew my friends and myself.

I was afraid to enter semester 2 with all the drama that might occur and the tremendous workload that I had to handle. But, I did it. I still don't know how my results are, but I'm hoping for the best.

And now, I'm at home in JB thinking back how my semester 2 flew by without even me realizing it. I'm done with year 1. That's how fast time flies.

I've bonded well with people and friends that I believe will stick around for a good long time. But then again, a little setback got me rethinking of its strength.

We have always said that we, humans are not perfect. But aren't we all trying to be in one way or another? Or for some of us, we condone into our imperfections with the excuse that we're not perfect?

I always tell myself to be a little more forgiving, to have a little more patience. To let small matters pass because it will bring no good to the friendship. Sometimes, a little too much gets me tired.

Do I try to mend? Do I ignore? Is the person being childish or insensitive? Or am I the cause? I think I've had too many setbacks in friendships that has got me into these situations. Times where I used to question myself for months, years if maybe it was something I did, or didn't do. Didn't accomplish.

Times where the friendship was left hanging and me not knowing if I should take the first step. It bothers me that a small matter could leave me overthinking and overanalyzing the cause and effects that comes with it.

Maybe, I don't know how to be a good friend. Maybe, I'm not good in maintaining bonds. Probably a sense of insecurity in me that haunts every relationship I have with people.

With you, I don't know how much of me you can take. I know for sure there'll be downfalls, pain, guilt, misunderstandings, betrayal and lies. We are supposed to overcome them. We know that I lack trust in you. But maybe, the boggling issue here is that I lack trust in myself. And it takes more than myself to gain it back. You've done a lot more than I've realized. And I know it'll only get better.

Twenty-one

2011-03-11T16:12:00.005+08:00

I always had memorable birthdays since I can remember.

High school years were classic.

14th: Nithya, Gaya, Thars, Sharm, Adeline and Kavithaa bought a cake from Seasons ( I can still rmb the cake- chocolate with the choc balls) and surprised me. They planned everything until the moment they woke me up with a birthday song and a cake while I was still in bed.

15th: I failed my history test and I got my results back that day. Was feeling so miserable until we had a birthday cookout at Kavithaa's house. Super delicious and very memorable. :)

16th: Bd song at canteen which turned me red like a tomato. I remember dinner was at Italiannes in Jusco where all the waiter and waitresses came out and sang while the diners and passerby-s looked on. Received a g-string for my sweet 16 ;)

17th: The usual embarrassing moment of bd song in canteen. Had lil party going on while close family were gathered at my house for makan.

18th: Celebrated the 18th in Sg with my cousins! First bd away from home :)

19th: Birthday with Bio exam! In SIGS with the peeps. Shenni baked me a huge and super delicious oatmeal cookie :D

20th: Surprise in the office! 4 slices of brownies and had a whole bunch of people waiting in the pantry for me to cut the cake. Super memorable and definitely one that's hard to happen again.

21st: Pre-bd celebration in Pulai Springs with a gallon of BR ice-cream as my cake. :P And on the real day, the big surprise from my dearest housemates and roommates. As I was about to doze off, they rushed in and surprised me with a cake screaming SURPRISE! Yvonne and Jess planned it so they'd know where are my whereabouts. Dinner with Vj, Mei and gang at Tanjung Harapan for seafood and a surprise cake which they got it smashed in my face. Definitely a birthday I'll never forget. :)

I feel so blessed and honored to have people who care about me and make me feel so loved and belonged. I never expected my housemates to spring such a sweet surprise for me and it just proved my theory that I have the nicest and greatest housemates and roommate ever. :)

Loves to Yvonne, Ruth, Rhea, Qer Xin, Joanne and Ling.

Shout out to Qer Xin, Hui Ling and Yvonne for the lovely card and pressie! You guys are awesome!

The other four that made my day special: Mei, Jess, Zolfay, Ryham. Can never thank you guys enough for everything you've done for me!

Vj, Jeremy, Edmund and gang who are so fun to be around with. :D Loves xxx

**To update again for additions**

It's your birthday!

2011-02-22T22:15:00.005+08:00

I dreamt of you last night.

It's been a long time since I've had a dream where I saw your face. I dunno when was the last time I saw your face but the memory of you was so clear.

There was a time where I used to dream of you every

night, someway, somehow. The times when I was amazed at the similarities we had.

It has been always platonic. Always have and always will. And after so many years, I still miss the connection we had. That feeling when you know exactly how I feel.

Though now we are no better than strangers, I remember you. Today.

How we used to talk on the phone for hours straight everyday. How we used to get teased and how we compared our height every other day.

How you complained to me that you didn't fit and your mother nags at you for not being good enough. How you used to shout over the phone to get your younger brother off the line.

Will i feel awkward when I see you again? Or will it just be all so natural like it's always been?

I hope I'll find out.

Today, I remember you.

I have mixed feelings about going back to PJ after a long break from the stress of uni. I'm so looking forward to have something to occupy my mind instead of rotting at home. And yet I dread the drama and workload which will haunt me.

Worse, I'm terrified of the changes which haven't even occur.

Don't think about the things that have not happened.

I'm ready to be back. Or so I think.

At least, I know I have to. And it'll be with a wide grin. :D

**Leaving you with a pic of the birthday girl who turns *3 today. She shares her birthday with a lot of special people :)

Goodbye

2011-02-09T12:12:00.009+08:00

I don't know how to deal with such news.

I have given it brief thoughts, but I never expected it to happen so soon.

He never made it to his 65th birthday.

They keep asking me to go and see him, one last time.

But I'm scared.

I haven't seen him for so many years and I dunno what to expect.

I want to retain the memory I have of him in pictures, and in every aspect that I still have of him.

Not him, sickly, forlorn and in that cage.

And there's no one I can really confide in, except you.

He will be remembered by me. And going to see him one last time will shatter all the good memories I have of him. Of how I want him to be remembered.

Can't I just have the thought in myself? Do I need to parade to the people whom I haven met for the last 10 years that I care? Can't I just be selfish cause I know I won't meet these people anyway.

Even if I do meet them on the streets, they won't even know of my existence. So, what's the point? As long as He knows, and I know. That's what matters right?

Will I regret? Am I being such an unfilial daughter?

I dunno how to feel, and I dunno what to do.

08022011- Goodbye Daddy.

Trust?

2011-01-24T23:14:00.010+08:00

"Trust me."

"Have confidence in me."

"Confidence in us."

Really?

Lapse of silence- taking chances

2011-01-01T22:08:00.014+08:00

What a long draught of silence in this space of memories.

So much has changed, so much that had happened and so much that will happen, expected and unexpectedly.

Such a short period of time that has brought so much new experiences and great beginnings and fearful expectations. New dramas, conflicts, dilemmas and so much more crazy perception on LIFE.

I feel as though a huge phase of my life has taken form and settling down as a lifestyle. That's called moving on.

A good catch up with Nithya, Shenni n Sharm really pulled me back into memories that I've missed so much.

I realized, nothing really changed, except the fact that we're growing up and maturing, together. And there's nothing wrong with it. It's part and parcel of life to learn from mistakes and experiences. You can't always get them right the first time.

I've been told time and time again to always be careful, be extra protective of whatever that I need to protect and always look out for myself and be safe. The constant reminder that I've set for myself is so that I don't get hurt and have regrets.

All of it will always plan to look and sound good. But what if things don't go as planned? What about exceptions?

What about the saying 'making the best out of life'? Taking a chance has always been my greatest fear. The fear of failing. Disappointment.

I realized I like giving neutral answers. I never like taking a stand. I never like decisions. I hate choosing. I always like safe answers and decisions. Oh and I hate expectations cuz they lead to a probability of disappointment.

Making my way to Taylor's have been the biggest chance I've ever took. I hope it's the beginning of greater achievements by taking chances.

'You need to risk it to get the biscuit.' I never really thought about that phrase in depth but realization hit. Taking chances is a huge step to grow up. Making decisions and trusting them.

I still remember the times when I couldn't wait to turn 21 and just have lots of freedom and now I think back, I'm gonna get my wish in a few months and it scares the hell out of me. Suddenly I feel so old. Felt it the moment I turned 20.

I never had any new year's resolution, but since I was asked this year, I thought about it. And so, my new year's resolution for 2011:

To appreciate and be better at whatever I have now and create new and beautiful things.

Making the best of life and live like there's no tomorrow.

Alright then, let's roll.

The Life

2010-08-11T22:15:00.020+08:00

Hello my lovelies! :)

Coco, my friend's cocker spaniel :)

Here I am tonight, supposedly to do some reading as most of my assignments are due in 2 weeks but unfortunately, I still have vague ideas on how to get started on them. :P

So, I decided to update about my life in Taylor's Lakeside Campus. :)

I think I told most of everybody that my course is fully 100% assignment based. No exams! (woohoo!) But assignments are like our exams of course.

This semester I'm enrolled for 4 subjects ie:

Effective Communication (EC)

Communication: Rhetoric and Reasoning (CRR)

Computer, Communication and Society (CCS)

Public Relations 1 (PR 1)

I'm still quite blur of the subjects actually. Most of them require like essays and critiques and presentations as their assignment. What's the greatest 'difference' is that for EC, part of the subject requires a monologue. We need to act.

A solo presentation carries 25% and a group performance carries another 25%. So it's like drama class sometimes! (If Hazel is around I'll imagine her say, like we're auditioning to be Mediacorp's actresses or something!) =.=

I must say it is fun. Hee. We talk about movies, facebook, actors and actresses and lots of cool stuff. But still need to fret about our assignment. BOO.

Fyi, I'm taking CMM course not because I wanna end up being an actress or movie star. My main goal is to be a professional in the area of communication and I must say, this course gives me lots of choices. From PR to marketing, advertising, publishing, corporate communication etc.

So hopefully I made the right choice, though it feels like I've wasted my time doing STPM, I still don't regret taking it cuz I've learnt so much about science and it's like the best of both worlds having knowledge from both sides. Just that now during my degree, my STPM won't really be of much use compared to the foundation students and those who did arts subject in STPM. So I need to catch up! :)

Sometimes people ask me, "What did you do previously?"

"STPM"

"Oooh! That must be tough."

"Yeah, Science was tough"

O.O

And they'll ask all the "why the sudden change of course? blablabla"

I must say the words STPM and A levels (from far from what I've seen) gets alot of attention. Like, people will go "Woa. Tough." Even the lecturers and foreign students know about the suffering of the exams.

Life wise, I take shuttle bus to uni since it's not very near. So sometimes gotta squeeze with alot of people! :( Like peak hours, 6pm are the worst. Jammed and lots of people squeezing the bus.

I can't help but think this is some kind of revenge after having so much convenience in JB being situated 5 mins away from everywhere else. XD

Campus is real huge and nice! Lots of places to hang out. Mac lab rooms, library etc. The sofas and chairs just makes you wanna hang out there. Campus wise, everything is nice. Except the unfinished cafeteria limiting our choices of food.

I'll need to learn how to adapt mostly on assignments and my studies. Cuz that's the biggest change for me now. Even though staying in KL everything is foreign, I find it acceptable. So hopefully I get to learn quick on my work cuz I don't like the feeling of not knowing what I'm studying about.

Oh the highlight! I bought my Macbook 2 weeks ago! So happy! I burnt a huge hole in my pocket buying it. But I must say it's the first and most expensive thing I bought with my salary after working for so long! tahan so long :D

iPhone can wait since my aunt borrowed me her iPod touch to use. So I'm very contented with my Macbook for now! (I've been ranting that I wanna get one since forever)

So there. Some pics! Very badly taken cuz it's from my phone. XD

I'll need to meet Shynee soon! I miss her sooo much. :(

Hazel, Mun Chin and a whole lot more people I could meet up with too! :)

Good night you all! More updates soon, I hope. Just to note down memories and big changes. :D

lovelove

My Dark Past

2010-08-07T18:36:00.007+08:00

Hey you all.

Today's post is a very personal and confidential one to me ever since I can remember.

It's been only briefly shared with one of my NS friends and I guess it's time to open up. The burning questions will be answered after sooo long.

I came from a very rich family. CAME = past tense.

My dad owned a construction company which had businesses in KL, Sg and Langkawi. How big was the company? Let me give you an example.

Lot 10's Isetan? My dad co-built that among many others. So could say we were pretty influential.

A Mercedes and a Daimler (first hand cars). Branded goods, tours, holidays, jewellery. (I can only rmb snippets of them from pictures).

I was daddy's little girl. Whenever my mom canned me, I'll run to him. He always gave me the best.

My birthdays were like no other. I wore frocks, with fresh flowers in my hair. My little guests had handmade door gifts and enough fire crackers to play with that can last them the whole night .

My last huge birthday celebration was in 1998 when my cake was 8 storeys high. Every year as my age increased, the layers on the cake increased as well. I remembered my dad told me, "This year will be the last year we can celebrate your birthday like this for you."

My dad dabbled in shares. Everyone did at that time. Won quite substantially and got greedy. Stakes were high and everything was involved.

When you hear this, something isn't quite right. Well, its true. Read on.

Until the 1997 economic downturn. We practically lost everything. Morgaged the house, sold the cars, sold jewellery. Just to tide over the crisis. But he could not rebound.

He left in 1998/1999 to Sg in fear of being declared a bankruptcy. Left the pile of shit to my mom and aunt. He left my mom 3K and a car (my current car) to survive.

Bills, education (at that time I was in SSU) and everything else relied on the 3K. Somehow my mom managed to start off her catering business while sending lunch to me.

Slowly, we managed life. Year after year.

I haven't seen my dad for at least 10 years or so. He just turned 64 two days ago. He still calls up every now and then to check on us. I can't say he's been having it good over in Sg cuz I know he's probably worst off than us.

My mom always tell me, "No matter what, he's still your father." I don't hate him, I really don't. I just do not feel much about him anymore.

I can say my parents are separated. No divorce papers. But my mom is already considered a single parent after so many years.

So there. My very bleak past which I've tried to not disclose for so long. I've decided to do this because most of you know that somehow, my dad is not around. In detail, I've never actually told anyone at all.

But I guess it's time to share this about me. I'm not ashamed. I was just not ready.

So, for all those that I've told you that I still see my dad every now and then, it's all bullshit. It seemed easier to tell that cuz I don't have to explain. And I sincerely apologise because I dunno how to start telling out this messed up story that I've hidden for so many years.

To my dearest and closest partner: Olivia who will be leaving US in a few days time;

We've been friends since a long time back and had countless and unforgettable memories together. I'm really gonna miss this girl alot cuz she's been one of the best things that I ever had.

Remember girl, that I'll always be here for you. I love you! :D

The First Day

2010-07-27T17:00:00.010+08:00

My first day in PJ, after a sad goodbye from JB, finally arrived to KL on Sunday and saw my apartment (suriamas) for the first time. Was a little disorientated cuz everything was everywhere!

I can't unpack my stuff and set them up. And till now everything is still packed up nicely in bags and boxes. Till my roommates they all are back before I can finally settle down. :/

So I went back to the apartment after my aunt took me out for dinner. Felt much better cuz there were 2 housemates around. I was so scared that I'll be alone in the apartment! So thankfully I managed to get some sleep too. Woke up dark and early yesterday to get ready and all.

My housemate was supposed to get her friend to fetch us to uni, but he overslept. We missed the shuttle bus. Dang. So we took a cab. Freaking RM12 when its only supposed to be RM5! Luckily there was another fella who shared the fare. But still! I should learn from these expensive lessons.

So orientation n all were ~~as usual~~ boring. Din't really get to make new friends cuz the whole place was huge and we barely get to mingle around. Plus there is this orientation party on friday which I'll miss cuz it feels weird that I'm going to a party with people I dunno. So guess not. :P such a introvert, I know.

Went home thinking my other housemates were at home. So I 'assumed' it and nicely went to bed. Next morning, saw Joanne (housemate) walking about. So I asked her, "Hey, so early?" She told me, "I just got back. XD"

Then only it registered. I spent the whole evening and slept alone in the apartment by myself without knowing it! =.= So much for being scared and all. Hahaha

Like God sent, VJ (Oli's super good friend) is around the area so I've been getting help from him as well! Managed to settle my ptptn stuff within an afternoon which was such a relief. So since I've been paralysed with not much mobilty in my apartment, he keeps me company. :)

Not forgetting Melissa who's been a great support especially the first night. She accompanied me till I slept off. :) Supposed to meet her but it's a bit tough cuz we're seperated by a major highway and I dunno how (and neither do I have the guts) to walk to Pyramid.

So to meet Shy and gang I'll need to find my way to Pyramid too! Cabs are like cut-throats in my area. :( I miss the familiarity of these people! Have to meet them soon. :)

I'm slowly getting around campus already, and classes are supposed to start next Monday. Feel sooo proud of myself cuz I managed to figure out the printer and copier. :D (jakun lah!)

And I just got my schedule, guess what?! My killer day is Tuesday. BUT! After Thursday from 9am, I will be free from classes till Monday at 2pm! Loooong weekend. How cool is that?? :D

So I await for my dear roomie Von to come back and show me ard with QQ and Hui Ling! :D Can't wait. Hee. And this weekend is when I'm supposed to get my Mac!!!!! :D :D I desperately need a laptop with internet. Depending on my aunt is not a long time solution.

I just hope I know how to mingle around the Mac. Tried it on the library's Mac. Seems good! Too early to say, but I hope I can manage.

I feel like I've made the hugest decision of my life yet by enrolling into Taylor's for Communication and Media Management (CMM). I PRAY it's the right choice. I need it to be. But I'm at a little disadvantage since I did STPM (sc summor) compared to those foundation students.

I need to trust my decisions.

I'll update again soon. :) The days are getting better, this I can say. Took me 2 days before I can really feel ok. First 2 days were like hell-ish. The '-ish' is there cuz I know there are so many people who care about me.

I love you guys to bits. :D

*Blog Date: 13/07/2010

2010-07-15T14:23:00.015+08:00

I'm truly grateful to you people.

To all those who have made enquries, concerned about my next step, researched for unis for me.

For all those who just simply gave advices, remarks, and just simple gestures and good lucks.

And also to those who prayed for me. Wished for a correct path for me to follow.

Again, I thank you all.

At this point of time, I'm doing all I can to ensure of it.

Someone enlightened me today.

He asked me, "Which is the place that will make you do whatever it takes to make it? The one that made you fall in love with?"

Easy peasy. NUS. I don't qualify, unfortunately. So, back up plan is needed. KL or SG.

He said, "Hey girl, call up this place and do this. And check this too. If you call the first time and you don't get the best service, call again. Don't give up!"

"Use what was taught to you. Escalate the call."

"Don't let the finances be your first priority. Don't make yourself regret. Go for the best and only the best."

And after the advices, I told him that maybe I don't need Paul (the octopus) to make the decision for me afterall. Paul could be renamed to his name instead.

He told me, "All you needed to do, was ask."

For past few weeks, I feel like I'm wasting time, for the fact that I'm not working, meaning no income and not servicing people.

Also, my research about unis have been progressing, but not fast enough.

After what he told me, I felt like things aren't that bad afterall. There is some hope, some light at the end of the tunnel.There are alternatives. Feasible ones.

And I'm going to try them tomorrow. Pray that it works. :)

In case you're wondering, this Mr Someone is Adam. My foster father cum mentor on the platform.

Even after I've left CSOS, I still need his advices and he's still ever so good at making things feel ok.

I miss him. I miss CitiPhone. Alot.

:(

LAST DAY in CSOS

2010-07-01T10:10:00.004+08:00

I FINALLY ENDED MY JOB.

Omg, after like 3 months of dragging? I finally ended my tenure in CSOS yesterday, 30/6/2010. Emotional, yes I must admit. I do feel the sadness and emotions running through when the clock striked 5.00pm and I ended my call with Mr Loh. In addition, Teeba came to me and ask me what time will I be around till cuz she needed to delete my ID and sign the papers.

At that moment, a gush of feeling came over me.

My emails: Lim, Eileen Fong Yee , SOEiD: el53495, GEID and agent ID: 79487 will all be deleted!

Holly Lim will no longer exist in CSOS anymore!
(unless a newbie comes and takes over the platform name of Holly)

And! I will no longer have access to Firefly, Eclipse, E-forms and Callback.

Even my access pass is surrendered, so I can't even enter CS level 27!

I really felt like crying at that point. :(

After I logged out, I went through my excel sheet titled "holly june" and retyped all my f/ups into another file to be sent to Sasha to f/up. Went into cm's acc to waive the the lcfc that I promised them to do.

And I typed thank you emails to the few mentors whom had helped me tremendously throughout my work. So this blog post shall be dedicated to these few people whom I've promised to address after my last day..

And to the rest reading this post, I know you might not understand what the crap I'm talking bout, but it's a small insight into what has been going on during working life for me.. So bear with me! ;)

SASHA: She's definitely the mentor I'll miss the most! She has been our personal mentor since the 1st day we came in for work (19th jan) and her patience is really admirable. She'll never get flustered, always calm and cool..

Rare occasions I did manage to see her in bad mood and have dark clouds over her head, but with us, she has never raised her voice or flared up in anger. And I know, Sasha can definitely solve my problems.

The 1st few days in training when we 1st started, the atmosphere of work was definitely different from now. Had Shenni, Karthik and Naga with me constantly fooling around with Sasha. I really do miss those times..

ADAM: Honestly, Shenni and I agreed that Adam would be the last mentor to approach for help. Cuz he always gave us vague answers and his pet phrase: "Check e-Sok". OMG. I felt like strangling him e'time we don't get proper answers from him.

But I slowly realised (esp when Sasha went back to take calls and Shenni and Wawa left the office), there is no one else who can help me except Adam. So, I threw all my worries to him. My f/ups, escalations and all advices, I'll go to him.

And he really did solve my issues! Everytime I go to him, I'll know what he'll say and ask. So I'll do e'thing i expect him to ask me to before going to him. So he has no choice but to help me. XD Slowly, Adam became my 1st choice of mentor for help.

We settled many many cases together and resolve tricky situations and even now when I leave, some cases are still pending for him to help me settle. (Ms XXmi) He really did train me to be independent and do the right things.

There were times when he used me as a testing kit just to test the system or sometimes just to quick kill cases or to cover up a prev cpo's mistake and dig up truths by call retrievals, emails, memos.. Calling out cm on behalf of other cpos and have them to do feedback and coaching (F&C). Naughty stuff we'll do. But I know he'll always be teaching me the right things.

Sometimes when a newbie asks Adam some questions, I'll be at the side telling the newbie, it's on e-Sok. And I know that's what Adam will say and he will smile. Now when I see Halls sweet, I'll think of him. And I'll miss him tremendously, cuz he's like a father to me on the platform. :)

YOGE, ASHWIN, NITHU: These 3 doesn't feel like mentors to me. They're more like brothers and a sister to me.

Ashwin solved one big case for me which I won't forget. The Cindy case from Tiong Bahru branch. I'll miss Ashwin for his ear poking, hand stamping and chair lowering..

Whenever I go to Yoge for advice, he'll ask me with a very worried face, "Why ah, Holly?" Cuz sometimes he won't know exactly what to do then I'll need to ask Adam or Sasha. But he's such a nice guy. I'm going to miss him..

Nithu is very on the go all the time. Not much time spent under her but she's always been there for us even before mentoring. Had great memories with her during Futsal though. Best times we had. :)

CANDY, ABIGAIL: These 2 shifter mentors have been with us since the beginning too. Lots of memories when I was still seated at 79278.

Candy will fool around with Karthik but she'll always help me as much as possible. Esp for banking queries. She's so quiet but I know she's always there.

Abigail will come and sit with me and ask me, "Holly, how are you today?" And she does that nearly everyday cuz at that point, Shenni and Wawa just left, leaving me alone in the office. So she'll always come and sit and help me take those mandarin calls and do the necessary for the cms. :)

SHAUN, JOHN: I must say, it's a different experience having Shaun and John at control and Shaun and Greg at control.

Shaun was like a block of wood in the presence of John before. After Greg took over, he's so much more angelic than Greg. He's like the wind. Sometimes, he'll be damn nice and he'll do e'thing for you. And at times, he'll ignore you completely. But I must say, he's been alright with me. So I still feel thankful to him for helping me sort my schedule. All the exceptional timings and breaks. And a very unfeeling "Bye" yesterday..

John goes way back to the 1st day of work too. Trained us and did some exceptional stuff like transfering calls, managing cm, letting us access into system before we got our id-s. When he was around, things were much simpler cuz he'll solve them for me. After leaving to Sg, he still helped me solve cases.

And of cuz SAURABH. My boss.

He's been the kindest boss I've had so far. Always giving me the best options and advices and lots of transfer calls! He'll push my capabilities to the limit when I'm still partially trained and he'll make sure I get help from a mentor if I can't handle the call. Esp times when its mandarin bank call. I know he has high hopes but sometimes I feel like I've failed him for leaving. I'll always rmb how he'll call out to me, "Holly, can take a transfer?" :)

I'll list down here all the other ppl who has helped me in someway or the other and just being a part of my working life there..

Venkat, Kasturi, Garry, Clarine, Meera, Olyn, Camryn, Xue Lin, Kim, Nesh, Harry, Vicky, Kana, Evon, Matilda, Tben, Tharamjit, Dorcas, Steffie, Judy, Nancy, Steve, Vanessa, Elizabeth, Max, Summer, Hashini, Foster, Greg, Fern, Sophie, Ruby, Sri, Mona, Oscar, Damien, Gerald, Sydney, Josh, Loretta, Shendra, Dee, Chitra, Raju, Rina, Sheila, Shaza, Sally, Varma, Daisy, Ivy, Sue, Ann, Olivia, April, Elda, Tess, Marcus, Cooper, Pearl, Tisha, Ronnie, Bala, Maggie, Monica, Avery, Krish, Jane, Shah, Nadine, Kash, Arul, Harrish, Lysha, Catherine, Dylan, Salome, Andrew, Rik, Sanchez, Smith, Ryan, Scarlett, Renu, Laura, Eli, Umah, Ronald, Christine, Miguel, Louise, Abhi, Sam, Yashodha, Pru, Teeba, Tony, Aniza, Charmaine, Mark, Carl, Darwin, Alvin, Gideon..

Makes up the team: Citigroup Sales and Outsourcing Services (CSOS)

It feels surreal that I'm finally jobless now, rotting away at home finding new avenues for my uni intake and trying to decide what's best for me. And now the plans of outings and meet ups can finally take place! :)

So I shall be blogging slightly more I guess. Just to keep myself busy for a while. I can't wait to meet up with Olivia and gang! And to the gossip club and others, I know you girls will be leaving for uni these few days. I wish you girls all the best and pls take care k? We shall update on FB and our blog! :)

So its a final goodbye to Holly. I know I'll forever be Holly among the CitiPhoners.
:)

holly/79478

The Worst Friday Ever

2010-06-19T20:52:00.004+08:00

It's probably best that I pen some thoughts here as I believe this could be the most aimless and helpless time of my life yet.

Even during STPM, i felt as if it was a cruel and torturous road ahead, but at least I had a destination and some blur light that I always believed will guide me the right way. Now it all came crashing down.

Results were out yest. Probably another memorable Friday which I will never forget. It was downright one of the worst days of my life.

Early morning up for work, as I opened my email I saw a huge bomb that was flashing. It was titled as Complain (Holly). Opened it up and it was just staring at me, this long email about the stupid woman who wanted stmt for her main cd holder.

I rmb her case very well and her complain was that she has yet to receive it and she thought I din sent it to her. And the freaking prev officer wrote in the email to all the supv and mentors, and in it stated 'cm wants a cb from Holly before speaking to Holly's supv'.

Pru retrieved the call and did a summary of it, stating my every action and noted that I need to check with mentors or herself before managing cm. So with a heavy heart, I went on and bug Sasha and Adam for help when Yoge stepped in. Went to Pru and she said I did everything I could and to just cb cm and be firm.

And just when I wanted to call cm, someone came to me and said a cm is very upset cuz I din call him back and settle his case. F him man! It was barely 10am! Who calls out at that hour and btw, freaking $0.63 cents in your acc is not all that great to fuss about man!

I'm so grateful to Yoge cuz I was near breaking point and he was upset bout it too and told off the officer, "Can't you just manage cm instead of throwing back to Holly? Take ownership please!" But i know this case so I told her to manage cm and I will cb cm once I settle my big case.

Cb cm and she was just so freaking annoying and wouldn't let me explain at all. I NEVER interrupt my cms but while conversing with her I actually did but she din allow me to carry on. I wished I had lost my patience with her and shouted at her but I did not.

I wanted to explain to her that I did send the stmt out but she kept saying that the prev officer told that I did not and she din not receive it. Maintained my cool all the way till the end and she hung up on me AGAIN. Couldn't take it cuz I was sooo frustrated with that bitch. I'll say it again, she's a big fat BITCH. (Just as Pru described her)

Frustrated tears came rolling. I just couldn't handle the stress I was under and broke down. Olivia beside me got a shock and started calling for Yoge and Sasha. Guess everyone got a big shock when they saw me in tears with my head down frustrated like a piece of crap.

Must say Sasha is always so motherly and Pru came along too. So grateful that I din need to cb cm cuz Sasha said she will do it. Pru repeated herself again and say, "I know, she's a bitch. I retrieved your call, she's a bitch. Don't worry, you've done all you can. When the day is fucked up, it'll be smooth sailing throughout later."

Turns out not.

Again as my FB would say: Nope, nothing.

I din get any course at all. Nothing at all. I do not have a uni intake. That's just pathetic. I have no idea why or what went wrong, thing is I could think of is, that's it. Game over.

I'll appeal. But I really have no idea what the chances are or how its going to be. All I know is that the road in front of my is bleak and dark. Downright when I saw it, I knew the worst had befallen me.

I've never felt like I've failed this bad before. Right from my STPM results to now, the aimless life and bleak future was a total torture. And I thought it all will end when I finally get a uni intake, but now it's just doubled. I even said, doesn't matter the course, I'll just go. And even that was declined for me. I din't ask for much, was so minimal, yet unachievable.

I really thank a few special ppl who i really hold true to my heart during this point of darkness. Sharm, Shenni, Melissa and Hazel who really touched me with thier kind words and a surprise call from Karthik whom will be the last person I'll think of who will say "Eileen, don't worry. I'll pray for you."

Anyway, I've determined to quit end of this mth. Uni or no uni, I need to go. It's been far too long a decision that I've been avoiding. And I will appeal. I'll get over it. I know somehow, it's planned out for me. So allow me to retreat and I'll be back, stronger. I hope. :P

To a brighter note, played futsal today! :) Was one of the greatest time I had so far while working for CSOS! Not only training with the guys but being in BRAZIL representing CITIPHONE! :D

But the scoring of the pts were damn downright dirty. Hate to say that the pre-arranged match during the finals with CCMU was a letdown. Totally dirty tricks that spoilt the sports spirit in them!

They had arranged for one team to win so that we don't get to compete for finals, instead of playing fair and let the best team compete for finals. Won 3 games out of 4 and the last one was a total mistake on my part.

I need to take huge responsibility for it cuz 2 goals that was scored literally slipped out of my hand and between my legs. Felt so immensely guilty for not defending that 2 goals that cost us our gold medal. :(

So we settled for Silver while our guys settled for 4th place. Guys team were also another sabotage plan but I'm proud to say that Citiphone held their heads up high as we played fair and it was all in the form of the best spirit! Eventhough we lost, I'm superly proud to be a part of Citiphone Brazil Team cuz we know, we were the true winners!

Believe me, they know we are the rightful winners cuz NOBODY actually watched the finals for the men and women's team! CCMU female, no one watched and no one cheered when they won! Even CCMU themselves din't cheer!

Guys team, after Citiphone lost, no one bothered to watch the finals! No one cheered for the winner. Only during prize giving ceremony they brought the house down with the screams and cheers but when we went up for the silver medals, I could hear the ppl shouting our names. With sounds of defeat.

I wonder if they feel their conscience pricking. All in all, it was just a game and a great time for bonding. So I did enjoy myself and had lots of fun. The guys are always gonna be my idols after this match cuz I really feel they deserve so much more. :)

Foster, Greg, Ashwin, Harry, Krish, Marcus, Adam, Blaze, Arul, Kash and so many many more. But mainly Foster and the gang whom really took time off and patience to train us. :) Not forgetting Yoge!! Plus Nesh, Shaun and others whom are with us mentally I believe. ;P

Shah, Nadine, Loretta, Ivy, Lysha and Scarlett! We did good! :)

I feel muchhh better after throwing out all these pent up feelings in me. And an old blog to still keep my mind sane for a while. Till next time.

Holly, signing off. ;)

Emotions

2010-05-10T18:31:00.009+08:00

LONG POST.

I've just read an ex colleague's blog. And suddenly it perked my interest to pen some thoughts and emotions here as I might just get it off my mind forever after this.

It's been a crazy roller coaster ride along these few months working in CSOS. I really have no idea why I'm getting so attached to my work. After all the stress, the workload and the lack of company, I still feel I'm thriving in my work and I will miss it when I resign. As it is now, I still have about 3 weeks before my official last physical day and already, I'm dreading the beginning of June to come as I will be jobless again. The rotting at home scares me.

Basically, I'm just afraid. Afraid that when I'm jobless, I'll have more time to think about Uni. And when this prob comes to me, it leaves me shudders and silent panic. I've been rejected by NTU, so chances of me getting a place in NUS is nearly nil. Morever, I was not on the list to go for interview in USM which could either mean my results are not good enough for USM, or that my course don't require interview.

Already I'm feeling damn dejected and lifeless cuz my only hope now is for local uni to give me a reasonably ok course, and I will just go for it. Life is planned and given to me, I'll take it as I know my limitations and weaknesses. Just as long as I'm given a chance, I'll go. I keep hearing ppl asking me, 'what course did you apply for??' And ashamed, I'll reply 'I can't rmb.' Cuz, i really can't. Some mass comm, biomed and physiotheraphy and social science. So, I'm having a silent panic attack within me which will fully explode out when I quit my job and start brooding over it.

Back to work, I've made a stupid careless mistake today, blocking the main cd instead of the supp cd. It was a simple yet big mistake to me but luckily my cm was ok with it and thankfully he din't make a fuss. Instead he told me, 'It's ok. Just send me a new cd.' Thank you Mr Alan for being such a kind soul and not scream at me. After that, it was like a wake up call to me. (other den the meeting with csm) It's a simple careless mistake but could lead to much disastrous effects. I could literally feel the blood drain from my face as I realised my mistake.

I sometimes just hate myself for being so sensitive, or just wanting e'thing to be perfect.

Last Thurs Boss called me into his office over the control desk saying "Holly, change your Aux, put training and come with me for a while!" For the moment I was thinking 'I'm so screwed, must be some major crap I did.' The retention officers looked at me and started panicking for me too but when I went into the office, Venkat was sitting there waiting with his boisterous voice saying "Holly! Saurabh has told me so much about you saying that you've been a role model to the newbies!" I couldn't help it but went red on that note while Boss indicated for me to sit down while he pushed the note and Kit Kat over to me. The note says "Holly, great job and you are a great support and always helped the platform in the best possible way. Keep it up and continue to shine!" It's just a simple gesture but it totally bought me over, making me feel like I was on cloud 9.

And the following day, Salome wanted to talk to me for a while and I misused my Aux and changed it to toilet break and Boss caught me. He looked at the screen, called out, 'Holly?' and asked Salome if she still had training, and I knew he was disappointed with me. It's just really small thing, but as I said, I hate myself for being so sensitive over these small things. It's like a small black mark that can't seem to be wiped away.. But now, I don't really care much since I'm resigning soon. Or I try to not care, at least.

All in all, I think my mind is super messed up now. I have some stuff on my mind which seems to weigh a ton and it's holding me up, making me very tight and caught. Mainly it's due to my Uni intake and the fact that I'm leaving CSOS in 3 weeks. I just dun like it when there is some unsettled business thats boggling my mind.

(2 guys disappointed me lately.. I never expected you guys to be the the perfect ppl and to impress to be close to me. I just needed honesty and simple answers. Since it's just so hard for you to be urself, then I guess forget it. I'm just a colleague anyway. I treat you as a mate, and you wanted it to be on another level, we became friends. But if you can't be honest, den i guess don't try to think as if you care. And the other you, I know you are searching. So don't deny and try to trap me in your field cuz I've made it clear, we can't. I won't. Go for someone else, she could be a better option cuz I certainly won't allow you to complicate things with me.)

Thank you Salome for being such a guardian to me.

So until the next time of a very messed up mind, I thank all those ppl who have helped me overcome most of my probs, esp at work with mentors and Mr J. You guys are truly life savers. I'll dedicate a blog post when i quit to address each of you who have played a part during my time in CSOS.

Pray for me, and till next time. holly/79278/79487

*When you look into my eyes, I'm afraid you'll detect my feelings and read my thoughts. It's just a simple innocent attraction to keep me going but sometimes when you do that, it makes me wanna believe it could be for real.*

Dilemma

2010-03-25T18:07:00.003+08:00

How should I describe my feelings now?

Erratic? Fickled? Confused? All of the above and makes the word Bleghh.

So here's my problem. After such a long 'break' from blogging, I finally want to blog about something is pretty serious isn't it?

Since I can't exactly spell out or rant incessently to someone about my pitiful head throbbing away at my niggling problems so I decided I should just spill everything here.

Warning: Do Not Continue If You Don't Wish To Read A Boring Story Of My Messed Up Mind.

Ok. So Shenni is quitting our job. And so is Najwa. Which leaves me with nobody to gang bang with me in the office! Since Naga is away at India, I'm literally left with no gang bang at our famous classroom corner. :( SO SAD!!

And few people resigned last week, so the calls are like blaring into our ears every few seconds. Which is bad and tiring. So sick of those ungrateful, gruffy women who thinks we're slaves to their freaking accounts.

And at times when we die die have to do follow up on cases and get all the delayed logs thrown back to us in our faces when the calls are waiting and the Control is screaming your name telling you to go online and the phone is ringing from Boss, impatiently telling you to stay online plus your head is spinning and when you pick up the call, the customer is a screaming one and your system dies on you.

OH THE FRUSTRATION!

Yes, it's not like this everyday but sometimes when it gets over the top I just feel like shouting at the top of my lungs at level 27 of CS office building to tell these ppl to F off.

So then back to the topic. These people are leaving and I'm like stuck. Should I leave too? I know I won't be able to find another job that pays this well and anyway if I stay on it's gonna be for another month. Plus it's one month of endurance. And my mentors looked genuinely upset when they heard about the news.

I mean, I'm hugely indebted to them esp Sasha who's been superly great to me. And Steve whom I always disappoint cuz I never obliged his request to do OT. Plus of cuz Adam whom although is quite misleading at times, but yes he's always around.

I must admit I did have happy times in the office even though we had high call volume at that point, the atmosphere was light and breezy. Now since Shaun has taken over the Control and I'm supposed to report to him for anything non-mentor, it sucks.

As compared to John who's so much more flexible and easy going. Shaun is like a block of wood who gives that FACE that shows (why are you asking me such a ridiculous question at this specific time, Get Away and I'm sick of you) look. So if I continue, I'll have to see his face! Haih.

So, I'm in a dilemma. Should I or should I not resign? And the uni intake problem is still at the back of my head, yet to surface fully. Gosh.

I'm getting a big headache. pfft.

xxx

Temporary Darkness

2009-08-28T13:32:00.005+08:00

Note: A very sentimental post. Down and down.

This has been one of the darkest period of my life, yet.
Other than the fact that I have to handle it myself, alone.

I'm studying for the hardest papers I've ever known
(Nothing comes close to this, not even 11 subjects in SPM)

I still dislike my school very much.

And my final destination is still blurry.
No goal, no aim.

I really felt like giving up, so many times.

Esp since I have been put in a class with so many smarty pants 'surrounding' me.

I always think I perform better with the right amount of stress, not an overload like now.

My motivation is that I'll redeem myself in 3 months.
When I'm over it, It's SO over.
I wun miss it.

To 2 ex-listeners:

I really regret letting you drift away.
But I know you're happy now.
And soon be off to Penang.
I'm really happy for you, soon-to-be Mr Doc.
But I miss you. That's just that.

With You.
I still believe that it was a misunderstanding.
Why, who or what, I still dunno.
4 months. Our friendship hangs.
I just hope things will sort itself out.
Cuz I'm still in alot of questions.
Ad, I really miss you.

A certain you, and you.

2009-07-01T17:53:00.009+08:00

I'm sorry it took me nearly a year to get used to the idea,
that we both have changed.

I just couldn't accept it.
Doing all those new 'things' and adapting a new lifestyle/habit.

It dawned to me that you were much closer to me than i remembered.
Then why did things end up this way?

I realised i felt inferior.
Never felt so inferior to you before, until I doubted myself.

I realised that the changes in me had some effects on you.
We both just couldn't understand, n couldn't communicate.

Made myself distant away, just so you wun have to know how low i actually was.

Faced the problems of dealing with myself and losing the old you, I closed up.

I couldn't talk to you.
And u gladly obliged, you closed up too.
Anger was a wall in you I couldn't get through.

But I'm beginning to see the old you, now.

You're always a reminder to me about the old times,
Pulling me back into what we enjoyed.
And making sure I don't lose the identity that I once had.

I love the fact that our similarities are still there.
More than ever.

Sometimes when we talk bout stuff, we totally understand each other.
And only both of us know what and why, and the others trying to get it.

And its during those little moments, I know.

Another silent ordeal will be too much.

And a certain you.
I dunno why or what.
Asked this question far too many times. Why and what?
I'd say I'm sorry, but because I dunno if i should or for what.

You were the pillar, and the trusted one.
I hold on to it.

I never have the courage to ask.
Afraid to know, a misery.
Afraid of being judged by you, my weakness.

If it can blow over, I wanna know. Why and what?

Sucky Guys

2009-06-02T22:07:00.008+08:00

I'm through with guys. JB guys, i mean.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking bout. SICKENING i tell you.

It's so depressing to see all the Bengs flaunting their latest tight jeans and see through singlet and a pink scarf with a hairband on thier shaggy brown hair.

Not forgetting their partner-in-crime LaLas with their green and pink tight leggings with shorts and gladiator sandals that goes all the way up to their knees.

And i thought those fashion horribles were like 2 years ago or something?

And what happened to those gentlemen:

-who used to open the doors for you, wait for you to step out before themselves?

-who used to sit behind cuz they let ladies take the front.

-who waits for the girls to emerge from their seats and walk out of class before they do?

-who help girls in distress to pull their chairs out and help clear the chairs off the aisle?

-who gives a small smile at a joke instead of a disgusting, boisterous laugh?

-who talks to you cuz he wants to know you and not to get tips on question papers?

-who used to say, Excuse Me? and Sorry!

Maybe, and I think it's a huge possibilty that the kiasu-fied characters in these guys are greatly influenced by geographical reasons.

JB IS TOO NEAR SINGAPORE!

Really!

Our mandarin is much better than other states cuz of Sg. (and so i think)

Our prices of everything is more expensive when compared to the north side. (food, cost of living, etc)

We can sing Majulah Singapura better than Negaraku and predict what's the next item for thier National Day Parade.

And not forgetting the existance of the infamous kiasu syndrome.

I can understand if the kiasu-ness is in some girls.

Reasons like becoming more "auntie", part of women's natural behaviour and maternal.. instincts.

but you know what i mean.

But for guys!
So immature and so uncharming. Blegh.
It's like so Apek to witness a guy being kiasu.

Like a great man hiding behind a flowery umbrella in the sun.

HAIH.
No wonder more girls are going for Indian dudes.
Vasantham channel isn't as attractive as Channel 8 and U.

to remember

2009-05-29T21:47:00.008+08:00

I need to write somethings down cause I'm afraid it'll be wiped out from my memory.

Shenni n I were talking during chemistry today, and it totally brought us back to f5 during Mr Lim's chem class.

Remember those classic dorks and amusing characters?
Or maybe just the ones who are just so striking.

Erol

-The one good fella who gave up his seat. (after listening to our incessant complains bout how fat he was and him blocking our view.)
-Oli complained that he left the seat wet and disgusting.
-The one Oli scolded for kicking her chair.
-He tied his sweater hood around his head in class. (white and green)

Mole Guy

-He had a mole with hair sticking out of his arm.
-He was damn good at addmaths.
-Shenni said he noticed our teasing and opted for long sleeves after that.

Purple Glittery Shirt Guy

-His gf changes every week. (Sakuntala, Mohana Priya)
-Niya was a victim.
-He drinks out of the yoghurt bottle.
-He wears striking glittery shirts.

Same shirt Guy

-He wears the same light blue shirt, beige pants (tucked in), high socks, converse shoes n sweater EVERY WEEK.

Random individuals: BeneTi, Sissy guy with crumpler, Nyek Nyek, Lips-sticking-out-girl.

So our life was full of colours.
Memories like these should be kept for laughing purposes.

Then again, it has always been fun then, not so much now.

Amy Search

2009-03-09T20:45:00.002+08:00

Tiada Lagi- Amy Search

Sia-sia sudah, kita jalin cinta
Bila hati selalu berbeda
Sampai kapan lagi, kuharus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada

Seandainya kita masih bersatu
Tak mungkin kan menyatu
Walau masih ada sisa cinta
Biarkan saja berakhir sampai di sini

Tiada lagi yang kuharapkan
Tiada lagi yang kuimpikan
Biar aku sendiri tanpa dirimu
Tiada lagi kata cintaku
Takkan lagi ku bersamamu
Biar kusimpan semua
Kenanganku bersamamu.

Sampai kapan lagi ku harus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada

I can only write and keep my thoughts to myself, buried and scarred.

hmmm.

2009-01-03T23:00:00.002+08:00

i should shut my blog down.

cuz i'm really lazy to blog.
n i dun have much to say since my life in SIGS has been very interesting.

so till i have something interesting to blog about.
or even some inspiration to start blogging again.
n Janice chasing down my neck to blog.

den i shall reconsider.
till den.
=D

a little chemistry

2008-09-25T20:18:00.002+08:00

here's a little peak at what usually DON'T happen during chemistry.

mr tey: I'm not the one who suggested to have revision.
You should ask 'the-body'.
(he meant the person like when you use anybody or somebody)

mr tey: I have a criminal in my class. (Mun Chin)
And a psycho. (Kuan Shuen)
I can only depend on Yee Ser. (WOOOO!) *wink wink*

I found out two things today.
Mr Lim (as in the Mr Lim from Convent who used to speak in BM) Siew Chai's wife is in SIGS.

yeahh.

It's like when i found out Pn Lim and Henry Tan.

AND!!!!!!

To Clay Aiken's fans.

I just found out that he is GAY!
=(

Disappointing betul. what more he fathered a kid with a music producer and he's 'partner' is like 50 years old or something.

That's what i read.

Like Simon said, It's 2008.

Chloe

2008-09-07T18:12:00.006+08:00

=D

I just came to update on my niece baby Chloe!

I thought i wouldn't like babies cause they make too much noise, poo n pee too much and sleep too much.

I was kinda wrong. I LOVE the way they are so innocent and adorable!
So geram i just wanna squish and flatten her like how i squish Precious. Hee

And my nephew Ayden is arriving in a few weeks time!!!

Now i know how excited Linn felt. =D

Chloe is a girl who looks like a boy.

And a future model

I wanna wear her skirt!!

Oh and Sharm, Shenni n i just 'organised' some marathon and we were supposed to run for 4km. Yeah i didn't run. Hee

Guess who is this?

And figure it out.

I'll be back!! =D

School rocks? Not here.

2008-08-10T22:38:00.003+08:00

Seriously i never thought school sucked this much till now.

It's worse than crap but just pure shit hell.

I'm sorry for the verbal insults but hey, ask my schoolmates.

My teachers are great seriously, but other than that, stupidity is like their everyday life.

I can't wait to grow up and turn 20 and leave the bloody school.

i start year 2008 now.

2008-06-24T23:02:00.006+08:00

It's been nearly 3 weeks since i was back from NS and forgive me for not updating earlier.
Too much have been happening lately till my brain cannot absorb anymore.

Let's finish up the last weeks i had in camp yea?

Ok so after i went back from the 6 day holiday we had M-16 rifle shooting! =D
we got to shoot 1st 10 for try outs and 20 that carry marks.

my score was 63. =( but at least i din't fail. =D

Alot of the skinnier people like Loke got their shoulders bruised and scarred from the explosion of the rifle while shooting. Poor gal was complaining of the pain.

So after the shooting, lots of my friends left camp. One by one.
But i felt the worst when Loke left, since she was always with me no matter whatever we did. Bathe, eat, sleep, wash clothes, and even 'morning-business'..

After Loke left, i was left in camp, literally lost. Dint know what to do sometimes and what decisions to make especially concerning Alpha.

With marching competition and Wirajaya, 2 major events were like looming ahead of us.

Thankfully my group of friends in Bravo from p3 were always there for me.. Gan and my Alpha mates were always making sure i wasn't alone..

It's funny, only when in situations like these, you can see who actually cares and im grateful for the people who helped me overcome the toughest times in camp..

And not forgetting my handsome Bi who stuck to me like a leech after Loke left. =)
She did too much for me.

(ok sorry i got a bit emotional there =D)

Ok so wanna know which company won marching competition??
ALPHA! guys and girls.
We swept the no 1 title for guys and gals, AND!
Best commander for the guys and gals too!! =D =D

It was the best feeling after endless trainings and all the commanding which made my voice very 'sexy'. =X
And the sun burns. Ohhh yeahh.

Wirajaya.
We camped out in the 'jungle' (it was the oil palm estate) for a night!
We pitched camp, decorated, dug holes for toilet, longkangs for us to cook etc.

We had activities to find food for the whole company and cooked our own food.
Food was good. Seriously.

I joined the night activity.
We were not allowed to use torch lights, so we had to walk in the dark to "Danga Bay".
Only a rafia string leading us the way so all the girls walked in a line together.

Halfway, there was like noises and moving objects the trainers did to scare us.
After we reached, the 'Orang Asli' played us again.

Had to hug a lorry and shout 'SAYA SAYANG LORI! MUAHH!'
dumb, i know.

got our face painted white this time. =X

after the activity, we were sent back.
one by one into the dark led by the rafia string.

but we all cheated and grouped halfway. hee.
then our trainers got this white track pants, and chased us making ghostly noises.

we all were scared to our wits!! man..

my friend even cried and shivered cuz the trainer jumped around and chased her till she screamed her head off. hahah!

but the beauty of that night, the whole sky was FULL of stars.
i mean it. FULL.

and i saw fireflies for the 1st time! =D
we hardly slept cuz we had to make rounds in the wee hours, afraid our trainer will invade our campsite and steal stuff.

Definitely an experience for me.

After Wirajaya, there was this special outdoor activity.

We had to create a Malaysian flag out of papers the trainers provided us and it was in a gigantic size. We glued and patch the whole thing out and had to move the flag to another place by foot while protecting the flag from 'ancaman luar'.

The fun part: All the balaks of the 4 companies created and held the flag.
It was finally an activity that we get to see the leaders of the company work together as a team instead of fighting among the companies.

Our rivals were our trainers who threw water balloons and sprayed water at us trying to destroy our flag.

So the rest of the trainees created a circle and protected us while we ran and moved the flag.

DUH~ the flag tore and yes, we all got wet and drenched from the water balloons.

It was one of the best activities we had other than the physical trainings. =D

Then there was the 'appreciating the arts' program where we got to act/sing/recite poem as a team on stage.

Everyone was dressed to the nines and i managed to borrow a kebaya-cheongsam from my dorm mate, Farah. =D

My team din win that, but i managed to get a prize for it. =)

That night was special cuz it was the 1st time, I was not the tomboy everyone knew.

We had a 60's era themed dinner. All our teachers were sporting to dress to the theme, rock and rolled and had so much fun just dancing around. =)

After that, it was the Closing ceremony of Kump 2 siri 5.
I led the Ikrar for the last time ever.

The most emotional part was when we folded the company flag, and the teachers marched to us and took out our 'balak'.

I cried like a cow.

And that night, we had the FEAST. The last dinner.
We had good food: satay, proper chicken and rice etc.

Prize giving (champions):
Water competition- Alpha
Navigation- Charlie
Marching- Alpha
Wirajaya- Charlie

Best company- Charlie
We still lost to Charlie in the end. =(
But they did a great job.

Penghuluwati, Nadia- Wirawati Terbaik
Charlie's corporal (someone i respect), Sakinah- Wirawati contoh
I got the prize for Wirawati Harapan. =)

Towards the last week of camp, Bi slept in my dorm everynight.
We all shifted our beds together and slept like sardine fishes everynight.

How much darker i got? Rate yourself.
Malay/ Indian (choose one)

TANNED. BURNT.

But im getting fairer so don't worry.
And getting fatter. =(

Back from camp, SIGS.
F6 - TOO MUCH ASSIGNS!!

And my mom had a bad fall, broke her bone somewhere near the knee, had a surgery and now she's unable to walk and stand without the walker.

To recover, she needs 3 months. So yeahh.. bad news.
currently staying with my aunt in Tebrau City area while im independent in my home now with my youngest aunt.

Recovering well, not to worry but a long way more before things get normal.
So i do everything myself now, suddenly growing up.

Good news- my cousin gave birth to a baby gal! =D
Baby Chloe.

And more updates coming. with better news i hope.
Pics on FACEBOOK!

APOLOGIES for being away for so long, and not contacting you guys.
Hopefully things settle down soon n i'll see you guys soon.

I miss you guys. =(

Sembrong Camp 2

2008-05-10T23:31:00.013+08:00

ALPHA

Away from home for about 2 months now and i'm so disorientated from everything around me.

I'll try to blog.

I'm back again! =D Glad to be back home though i do miss camp a little.

No morning exercise and physical trainings.
I feel fat already. =(

Okay so continuing from where i left off the last time.
This time back at camp, more adventurous and crazy stuff that we managed to do.
Lots of changes and experiences that I'll never forget.

1st thing was i was promoted to a corporal of my company, Alpha.
2 balak. It's this thing they call it.

And above me there is another corporal, Zana from my dorm and she's the head of the company and below her is me.

Loke, Zana, Me

Zana may be leaving for college and i pray that she wun. =(
Best leader and most spirited Malay in the whole company.

Najib, our 4 Balak Penghulu

We had water competition, Kayaking and Rafting.
I took part in Rafting as Team Leader and guess what, my company won.
Alpha Rocks!

Us with our company teacher, Cikgu Z

And Alpha won the overall champions for the water competition. =D
That was a start and suddenly i was making a short speech in front of everyone in our 'Danga Bay'. =S

Alpha guys: Kim, Sam, Yean and Qiang
(Samuel is missing!)

Then we had try-outs for serious kayaking and rafting competition. And i was chosen by my teacher for the try-out.

The competition was inter-camp in Johor and Sembrong has been champion for the past 2 years.

So we had to go through INTENSIVE training. 1st try-out was the leopard crawl.
I fumbled and failed on the 1st attempt.
Not cuz i couldn't do it, but it was a silly mistake: my legs got tangled up.

I was so frustrated with myself i ended up with angry tears.
After few days, i was having fever cuz i was in and out of the water and caught a cold in between.

And i remember one afternoon my dorm mates shouting from outside the dorm, calling my name out telling me my teacher wanted me in the Sembrong Team.

Discipline was critical in Sembrong Team.
A little slack and you're off the team, there and then.

Feverish and unwell i went for training. And finally i managed to try out kayaking.
Was one of the coolest thing to do and i was selected for kayak double with my partner, Ina.

Alicia, Me, Joanne and Bi on the kayak

And i did succeed in leopard crawl in the end.
Every time we had training, we'll be up there on the rope.

Training for Sembrong Team was running few km a day, push ups, leopard crawl, and lots of kayaking for me. I nearly gave up especially when it came to running: I'm not a runner.

And during trainings, our life jackets were like our life.
We ran with it, did push-ups with it, slept on it, walk around camp with it, train with it.

Train to remove the life jacket in 3 secs & put it on in 8 secs.
We even set the record of removing in 2 secs and putting it on in 5 secs.

Our main Sembrong Team trainer, Cikgu Ahmad

Chicken soup for breakfast in the morning to build muscles, in Danga Bay and glucose drink for energy. No spicy food, no cold drinks and no Maggi.

Pharmaton pills at the 3 last days before our competition to boost our energy.
It boosted my appetite. Seriously!

During training we have lots of fun bontang-ing in Danga Bay, we get to mingle more easily with the guys and kayak together to the furthest place, Pulau Tiga. 2.5 km away from camp.

We kayaked to this place where there were horses and another time we kayaked to Pulau Tiga where we saw monkeys and prawns.

I ended up as a reserve for kayak double in the main team.
And in the end, Padang Hijau won the overall competition.

We only managed 2 silvers for rafting in gals and guys event.

Felt like we let the camp down cuz they won for the past 2 yrs and it had to end in our year.

Just felt so down at that point and till now, our Alpha Idol, Fairul still blames himself for losing on kayak single.

But that was the best experience yet for me. Sembrong Team shall live.

Yean (Turbo), Alpha Idol, Loke, Sian (AYL), Alicia, Nadia, Ina, Ustazah, Isaac, Alex, Samuel, Ah Cai, Shaun, Zana, Amira, Ayu, Elyana, Akma, Ina Kecik, Nad, Edi, Amoi masuk air.

20 gals and 20 guys but that is all that i can remember for now. =)

Then we did Jungle trekking (Navigation) and our company won for the gals event to arrive the earliest. =)

10 people were selected to visit the orang asli village where the chief played us.
(it was our trainer who pretended to be orang asli)

We had to hug a rubber tree and our leader had to walk on our shoulders while we sang our Khidmat Negara song and a hindustan song.
PAINFUL.

And we slowly stood up while she walked on our shoulders.
Best team work and commitment we ever had so far.
And we got our face painted BLACK with sand and God-knows-what.

I managed to do flying fox! =D It was so cool but a trainer, Cikgu John commented that i was heavy. =(

Did kembara halangan (obstacle race) and failed terribly on the monkey rack.
Fell into the water and i cabuted halfway. Hee.

Tarzan swing was cool! But i only succeeded on the 3rd attempt.
Climbed the 6 foot wall, crawling under the wire, through a tunnel and the usual stuff.

For Kenegaraan class, its like history. But my class is ok.
Cool teacher and cuz of him we won the choir competition. =D

I love my company.
Outstanding.

Our biggest rival is Charlie company at the moment.
They rock too.

And we lost horribly at netball the other day. =D

And Loke and I saw 2 shooting stars right above our heads!
1st time in my life i saw shooting star and what else it was 2 shooting stars.

The view at camp is AMAZING.
Our PT in the morning is at 6.30 and we'll gaze at stars at 6am in the padang kawad.

Night time we always get a whole sky full of bright shining stars.
Literally the whole sky is full of stars.

And we even made a joke saying we don't mind sleeping in the padang kawad for the night if the sky was so beautiful.

Supposedly sleeping in the padang kawad was a punishment. =D

And we watch the sunrise and sunset everyday. Breathtaking.
Mountains, the lake and the red sun with the clouds and trees.
Picture perfect.

Next week! M-16 shooting training.
It's going to be a chance of a lifetime to fire a M-16 rifle.
Coolness.

And spending a night in the jungle with our own camp and own food! =D
Wirajaya.
The activities are just getting better. =)

Random Pictures:

Got our face painted on open day for Para-Para performance

cool huh

Penny, Joanne, Guy-from-religious-place, Bi, Me

Every sunday we get to go to the 'temple' place to pray. It's not a temple but i dunno what is it called. 'Fuo Tang' in mandarin. No idea.

Me, Loke, Peggy
Notice how much darker i got =(

The 2 shades of my hand. I look malay now. =X

My big group of friends in camp! =D

And I just registered myself in SIGS for Lower 6. =(

School officially started but I'll be finishing my NS till 7th of June before i start f6 in SIGS with Sharm, Chitra, Veno and a whole lot more Convent gals.

Yeah I'm seriously tanned. x)

I wan to stay at camp. =(
I dun wan to start school.
Boohoo.

I miss the Convent clan.

Sometimes at night while gazing at the stars, i hear my group of friends talking away in mandarin and i wished there was someone who can speak English to me like how you guys used to.

And that's when all the memories of Convent flow into my head.

Sembrong Camp

2008-04-03T17:57:00.008+08:00

Hi guys!

I'm back for the holidays! whee! 3 days.
Will be returning on sat to BP.

I have so much to tell and i dunno where to start.
Ok here goes.

I was dreading NS like CRAZY before i went.
On the way there met some people randomly so the journey to the camp was ok.

Luckily i saw a familiar face, Matthew.
He was helping out and April msged me to confirm who he really was. x)

It was a short journey to the camp. It's rather near JB. And when i reached, gosh.
We were heading into some jungle. No cars, no houses, nothing.

There wasn't even any road! All mud road which is like 4km into the jungle.
SCARY!

All trees and nothing but trees and the sky.
And when we finally reached, gosh. The camp is HUGE.

Bigger den what i expected. For a place to be soooo deep in the jungle.
And there was a lake next to it. =)

Registered myself, got my dorm room. Surrendered my phone and the nightmare began.
Im in the 1st dorm, P1. And my bed number is K8.
So my ID is P1k8.

A spoon each to have our meals and metal trays for our food.
JAIL-LIKE.

That's the look of our beds. And lockers.
Just multiply that by 30 in a row along the whole dorm.
JAIL-LIKE.

I seriously wanted to cry and run home when i saw the toilet.

No luck for me it was the most disgusting toilet to bathe in.
Walls were dirty and black, no lock for the doors, small cubicle and horrible tiles.

Other dorms' toilets were much cleaner cuz some are new dorms.
Not my dorm.

But my dorm is the nearest so its an advantage.
Our dorms are all on the hills.
So its freezing cold in the morning.

our classes

Flying Fox and Abseiling Pit

Climbing stairs is an everyday chore.

stairway up to my dorm:
killer stairs

And every morning, the whole place is like being in Genting. Cold and misty.
And beautiful view of the stars and moon every early morning.

We have to be up every morning at 5am and have physical training like push ups and all.
Army style. =)
So don't mind the big eye bags and dark circles cuz we sleep at 11pm and up at 5am.
BARELY enough sleep. =(

Guys had to shave their hair.
Guys are called 'Wira' and girls, Wirawati. =)

Assembly every morning with Negaraku and PLKN song.
Ikrar and prayers.

I led the Ikrar for 2 mornings and it was a lil proud moment for me. =D
St John trainings paid off during marching and commanding and it was easier for me to pick things up.
We have 1st aid training too and again St John helped me. =)

I led my team in the cheering session where i stole the cheer song from school. x)
Did a little alteration with the guy's squad and it was good to go.

We are all seperated into 4 teams, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta.
So dorm P1 and P2 makes up Alpha girls and L1 and L2, Alpha guys.

And Im in Alpha! =D
It's like being in St Xaviers. haha
Most of my friends are from Bravo cuz mostly are from P3, and poor Bee in P6 alone, Charlie.
Hopefully she gets to change her dorm to P1, which i dunno what excuse is she going to give.
=)

Met lots of new friends!
A faithful friend from my dorm, Loke.
Met her since the 1st day with Peggy and Fiona.

Loke and I

Fiona n I

But Fiona went back and now we have new friends. CRAZY ones.
Bi, Wuan Teng, Sim, Sin Yee, Jun, Penny and the list just goes on..

Loke, Bi, Fiona, me

The only barrier i have with my camp mates is the language barrier.
All of them speak mandarin and my standards of mandarin is just too awful. =X

But im learning! I have to.
Cuz im the constant joke of their topics when i try to speak properly.
But they all understand my weak mandarin and trying to learn english! =D

From top anticlockwise: Penny, Sin Yee, Loke and I

My dorm mates from left top clockwise: Siew Hui, Sue Jian, Man Yong, Ying Tong, Loke, Me and Wei Tieng

Met Sharidan at camp too! Small world.
Together with some guys like Samuel, Wei Liang and some malay dudes.

I lost 4 kilos in 2 weeks! That's just too fast. And we will be starting physical activities next week so i cant wait!! =D

We did some taekwondo, dancing, J-robics and lots of playing. =)
We had medical check up and a Bleep Test to check the strength of our heart.

We lined up our phones during the Bleep Test

We missed the 1st kayaking session on Wed cuz we came back. =(
But we did manage to get into the water on Tues which was super fun.
I helped built the raft for my team and we will hit the waters real soon. =D

Im beginning to enjoy camp. I just have to.
The company, my camp mates, friends and the cool activities awaiting.

It was super hard for the 1st week but things just got easier.
I got used to physical trainings, bathing in a not-so-clean toilet, waking up at 5am and the not very appetizing food.

So im going back there again.
More physical activities coming up next week.

This has to be the best wish for now, to be safe.

That's all for now! Will come back real soon with more news.
Take care people!

I miss you guys.

NS fear

2008-03-14T14:05:00.011+08:00

lonely
1 sad because one has no friends or companions
2 places not often visited

alone
1 without any companions
2 without the help of other people
3 lonely and unhappy

sad
1 showing or causing sorrow or regret
2 deserving blame or criticism

NS (National Service) has been constantly on my mind for the past 2 weeks and i just can't get it out of my mind.
Not that i really want to go. Just about the opposite.

My mom n 'family members' have been brain-washing me about the benefits and how fun NS was going to be and yet I'm still not bought over.
I still wished I did not need to serve my 'faithful country'. Shit.

Been rather blue lately. Lots of things have been happening and I just have to digest new information and carry on with life.

For starters, spent my 18th birthday in Singapore which was a lot of fun. My cousin, Jack had an IT show to run for his company and so i went over earlier to help him. =)

I 'worked' for 4 days selling Fujitsu laptops and being buried in thousands and thousands of people everyday. Lunch was bento boxes from a japanese restaurant (oh yea it's not like m'sia) and dinner were Mcdonalds burgers or sandwiches.

Seriously i was shocked at the food they provided having worked in CocoaRich. Drastic change. There were other companies providing better food than ours. I'm serious!

My colleagues were all Poly graduates. (i was the youngest there) Except for a not-so-normal case of 1 particular weird... woman there. The thought of her just makes me shudder.

Her name was Lina Or. Nope, its not typo error. It's her name. At 1st i glanced at her name from afar, i thought her name was lian ow. (lotus roots in mandarin) Not sure wat it is?

there.

She talks to herself, talks to the fliers (herself), ask repeated questions and pounces at food. 1st to eat at meals, and never bother to help clear up. Sorry to say she only sold 1 laptop in 3 days.

Some strange scenarios:

#1
customer paying at the counter
Customer: Excuse me, how long will this take?
Lina:Eh, you in a hurry MEH?

(customer frowns, turns his back and walks away)

#2
customers looking at displays
Lina: EXCUSE ME! I want to look at the laptop. (tells the customers)

(annoyed customers move aside)
(using her big body, pushes the customers away)
(my colleagues and I just look in disbelief)

As predicted, the customers walked away.
Colouring our Fujitsu booth with F*** word repeatedly.

But all in all it was a great experience, taking the bus alone, walking back alone at 11.30pm on the 'safe' streets of Sg (esp when Mas Selamat is still at large with his pictures literally everywhere in Sg).

Went to Esplanade on my bd, had a great lunch and a small slice of Starbucks cake.
Came back to JB feeling all jittery about SPM results.

I'm just so glad it's now over. More events coming up, dreadful ones and can't-wait ones. More of the dreadful ones. Esp NS.

Oh and i just cut my hair and a new style for the boring-dead-looking hair.
If only there was someone to share my excitement.

I feel so alone and casted aside.
Some of my pillars have just crumbled on me.

alert!

2008-02-27T23:31:00.004+08:00

I WAN DAVID ARCHULETA AS MY BOYFRIEND!

small boy innocent cuteness n contagious smile..

Bazel is in the house.

2008-02-23T23:20:00.008+08:00

I've got a new dog!

He's bout 12 weeks so still a lil pup but a darn fierce one. And he bites. HARD.
And! He's the lil chap from my aunt's place.
So he's the ex-Bobby and i renamed him Bazel. =)

4 weeks old Bazel.

present Bazel.

He's like a hundred times naughtier than Rusk.
So yeah. Bad doggie. He bit me countless times edi.

JPJ test is like on wed. I'm freaking out. Again.

no more chocolates!

2008-02-07T18:22:00.000+08:00

i miss my friends. =(

reading your emails bout ur updates are just warm n nice.

i miss convent. bad.

shenni n i worked for 25 straight days in CS. STRAIGHT. no breaks.

we are WonderWomen!

like cuz its 300 hours stuck in a 10m by 10m booth doing nothing but chocolates.

pei wana take my place?

thats the end. NO MORE CHOCOLATES!!!!!!

ps: pre-test on 13th. im freaking out.

i havent touched the kancil in 30 days.

oh n by the way. happy chinese new year! x)

i miss kathy, lok keng, lan li and xiao wen.
*our comforting friends (from the FUNGI) shirley.*

guess who's back

2008-01-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

I'm so lazy to upload the pictures here so for more references, here.

Thanks to Facebook.

There are 4 albums so take your time.

The wedding was a BLAST. Except the part where I had to take on the job of maria. God i washed e toilets, mopped floor, washed dishes, wash clothes etc etc. I helped my aunt k!

So on 27th i followed my cousins back to mersing and we reached there bout 1am. Had supper and slept at 3am. Nothing much happened.

Next day was woken up by the lil chap's incessant complains. Man i crawled out of bed at 8am with my cousin sister, Natalie aka Fong jie jie. We fed the lil chap n cleaned his small box and got to work. Mop floor, clear house, wash clothes and i even washed the toilet. *patpat*

lil chap. They wana name him Bobby.

So then in the afternoon the groom's grandparents came to give the dowry and all. In cantonese its a ceremony called ko tai lai. Don't ask me what it means.

Then we had dinner at a restaurant. Some candid pictures! =)

#1 Natalie's husband-to-be, Jason n i
#2 Natalie n Jason
#3 Christine and Jack (bride n groom)
#4 Jason trying to smile without showing his teeth

Then the next day, whole bunch of people came from everywhere to mersing for the 1st dinner. 5 cars from jb. n the whole process was okay.

Only when the dinner started the stupid irritating MC, some freak called Miss Pang was screaming on the mike. Dumb betul. And whats best is that my table was right under the speaker. great.

#1 beside the groom, Miss HorriblePang.
#2 karaoke session for 3 yr old.

After the dinner i helped to count money! It was so cool peeking into the ang pows and counting the money. ker---ching.

Then the next day, i had diarrhoea. Jason and Natalie too. But mine was worse. Popped a charcoal pill. Then the JB gang went back.

2nd morning the groom came to get the bride with 6 brother cars.

They honked their way into mersing and there were like 3 stages they had to get through to get the bride.

1st the groom n his brothers must wear bra and disposal underwear and limbo rock into the
porch.
2nd they must give us (sisters) angpow.
3rd the groom must agree to the 9 conditions we set for him.

1. no hitting the bride.
2. no scolding the bride.
3. my money is your money; your money is your money.
4. i will do all the housework.
6. i must take your negative points as positive points.
7. i will change my negative points.
8. i will love your family and friends.
9. if i done any mistake, you shall decide what will happen.

This 'contract' got IC number with witnesses and signature k! All so serious.

Then after the tea ceremony i followed the brothers' car down to jb. So Jack asked me to sit in a BMW. So till i sat down and ready to go, the driver announced that the tyre was flat. great. The driver even commented saying "Eh, you have no fate to sit this car lah! You sit only tyre flat."

i felt like strangling that sissified ah beng.

So i had to switch car and sit in a Vios.

I was e only female there with 4 other huge guys and i had to squeeze at the back. So i thought that was bad. Until the driver took off and his average speed was 140km/h. I was holding on for dear life in the car when he overtook cars from the left and sped at 160km/h. Imagine the fear on the popular windy and bumpy mersing road.

But it was so cool cuz he was so confident though he was practically flying. I felt like i was in some F1 race. Coolest car ride EVER.

After the tea ceremony at the groom's place then we got ready for the night dinner at Daiman Pekin (where else). And my job was done as the bridesmaid. =) After the dinner totally conked out and KO-ed on my bed.

N now back to work. arghhhhhh. LONG LONG story. Nvm. Neway we'll most probably start work on the 10th in CS ground floor. Chocs for sale! =)

*I have half day work tomoro and driving class after that till 6. GOD SAVE ME!!!!! =(

Chocolate n Cocoa

2007-12-22T22:21:00.001+08:00

Reserved, overly-critical, and sometimes a bit on the cranky side, You know where your place is and don't bother to impress people. You have few friends, but lots of respect from others as well. People see you as mysterious, because you don't enjoy opening up to others.

I'm supposed to be a PUMA. o_O

i think my luggage is too huge. any suggestions?

i am tired.

had 'training' for 9 hours with shenni. no not driving. its pushing sales.

or in other words, promoting n helping out.
or in other words, kelefeh. (extra)

we've been gg for trainings at a chocolate shop- CocoaRich (yes shupei is drooling) cuz we'll be off promoting chocolates in CS in january.

so basically we just eat chocolates all the time. and when there are customers, we promote and push sales. shenni and i still like cashier job. =)

our 'colleagues' have been really nice. i mean they cook lunch. how cool is that.

n our boss looks like jack neo. im serious! he really reminds me of jack neo. n he told us bout his life story e 1st time we met him. like fatherly talk. (so not)

neway its been great. wen we have no tours, we play computer games. n the computers have tonnes of games. n we laugh n talk.

n wait for 5pm and BALIK! tapao chocolate drink. yummy.

tomorrow shenni n i will be learning ropes to control the booth in CS n it'll be fun. ppl come visit us in CS k?? we bagi sample try. hee

To Shy: this is Lacky's lookalike! not exactly la but Rocky reminds me of Lacky. A lil.
honestly i cant really rmb how Lacky looked like. i only saw his pic like. once.

my aunt's dog. handsome dude.
PS: he'll be having a ribbon when my cousin gets married!

the TALLIE in the pic is my cousin. Jason. he is TALL. like TALL. very.
he made Rocky eat with him. they share food you see. same species.

my cousin getting married n i'll be off to Mersing this thursday till next wed.

will be her helper or (bridesmaid). one dinner in Mersing on 29th and another one on the 2nd. so will be busy collecting angpows. kerching!

i had problems getting evening wear n gowns and my heels. God. i shall post pics next time k?

WARNING: no laughing.

pic of my cousin. my favourite picture out of the lot. take care e'one!

Merry Christmas!

bring joy to the ones you care about by blessing them with surprises which comes from the heart.

official revival of overturning-hearts

2007-12-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

I've been deprived of technology and blogging for nearly 2 months (or more) cuz my lappy crashed. and now that it has been reformatted EVERYTHING IS GONE.

cry everyone. my itunes n pics n documents. GONE.

thank you for the opening statement. lets go on shall we?

went to kl wif shy hl shenni est n line last week n it was crazily fun. mean we enjoyed every moment of it except for wen we had to open the smelly cupboard. that was bad.

i dun tink we have a pic of the smelly cupboard. on our 1st day after our Tony Roma's heavy late lunch we went ice skating!

our bountiful beef ribs wif MASHED POTATOES!

SMELLY CUPBOARD STANK. cuz we left all our stinky wet smelly soggy full-of-flavour socks and gloves in there after skating. dun even imagine the smell k?

i fell twice! and once on each side of my butt. pressure evenly spreaded out. the second time i fell together wif shy n line. line fell pulling shy n shy pulled me. creating some commotion in the rink. goodness we laughed like we never laughed before. only HL din fall. ISH that gal.

den had tomyam cup noodles n we GOSSIPED till late night n zzz-ed.

2nd day we had a crazy day at sunway lagoon. checkin out cute guys and lazing in the pool til our skin all got crumpled. we were like in the movie baywatch cuz we went into e pool in a line lookin intimidating (to me). hahah! no pics on that cuz we din bring any cameras.

watched movie wen we came back n did nothin but sleep n watched jackie chan cartoon! hahah! dead tired from all e screaming while at the roller coaster rides. and btw we met the dundun cum junjun dude. wasnt very nice. but it was a blast at the lagoon. i thought it was e best day. =)

3rd day we jus shopped e whole sunway pyramid. we din buy anything at all til like night time wen e shops were about to close. gatal kan? den we went for WALKIE WALKIE cuz hl's dad treated us to some posh teochew food n it was soooo good.

walkie walkie n gazing at stars!

walkie walkie was introduced to us by some dude in e lift wen we overheard him telling his friends to go walkie walkie. guys/hunks/dudes. walkie walkie? not so nice. but we GALS went walkie walkie!! it was fun.

den we visited our twin hotel (sunway lagoon hotel) n we discovered the POOL AND GYM. it was SOOOOOOO COOL! regretted not swimming in e pool. that was our only regret. the gym? no we din pass the chance up. we 'worked out' for like 2 hrs plus! =)

the bruise i got from 'working out'. ask esther. =(

on e way to gym, est line hl n i bumped into a MASSIVE cute guy and his prom partner. prob his gf. but he was soooo cute! (rarely i compliment guys) cuz my expectations kinda high. shenni claims we surpress our urge to compliment a cute guy. sheesh.

short highlights:

*we had breakfast partners each morning-
-est and hl (1st day)
-shenni n shy (2nd day)
-line n i (3rd day)

*we smuggled in 4 extra ppl cuz our room was for 2 onli.

pic of line hiding in the tv cupboard wen the house keeping called in. whenever house keeping bring stuff in e'one hides away n this is line's hiding spot. (our friend adeline chong) sigh.

*pics stolen from hl's facebook. XD

this pic was taken wif our pinkies hooking onto our thumb. great trip that created great memories. thanks for everything guys! n take great care shy! =) i'll miss you guys.

i promise i will blog more regularly now! i tink.

nah i will. =)

sad. shy leaving this friday. =(

small revival of 2 blogs

2007-10-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

things to do after SPM

1. get my driving licence
2. sleep for 15 hours straight
3. read my 8th book of Pendragon
4. destroy my addmaths books
5. decide if i should go for NS
6. shop in kl for a week
7. shop in singapore for 2 weeks
8. get another dog
9. go to the gym
10. pick up squash
11. lose weight
12. stay online for 20 hours straight
13. go to mersing
14. style my hair

(to be continued)

arahan tetap: janice lee telah mengarahkan entri ini.

hahaha! in case u guys are wondering why am i bloggin on this superly hot and humid day and when SPM is in 38 days, I did this to bring life to jan-myworld-mylife.blogspot.com again! hurrah!

fans of jan's blog should treat me to makan. tiderna-ly i feel noble. that is if janice blogs for the next few days. hahah! ;p

nah i'm just kidding k jan? hee.

janice made me blog a nice full entry. so i'm going to be a good girl and blog some crap. den return to blog striking and attend courses on how to be a not-so-successful-nerd. =)

PMR ended today. nono.. dun have to celebrate and we don't have to feel envious. we ended our PMR like 2 years ago and like in a month's time we will be forever free from stupid SPM and they have to mug for SPM again! Wahahah!

so if a f3 comes up to you and say HA-HA. snigger back at them and tell them we merdeka-ed long time ago. *spray saliva over her face*

couple weeks back my aunt went to laser her skin tack off her neck. (or is it skin tag?) just as long as its those excess skin which looks like small pimples form when you get old. (whoops)

they practically burn the tender skin till you can actually smell the burning smell. and the end results: a squinting aunt. she dint really scream. =)

it was DISGUSTING!! all my goosebumps formed when i 1st saw it. but now its all gone. so just to let whoever who reads this post squint!

to all 1990 babies. mugging time. =(

to jan: I BLOGGED! ha-ha. your turn! =)

2007-08-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

STRIKE!!

my poor blog. neglected.

if trials or SPM was postponed or cancelled,
i promise i wil blog!

i wish. puh!

sowie!

=(

3 yrs once

2007-08-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

i had a blast. bekah called my mom n e next thing i knew she was tellin me how long it has been since she stepped into my house.

to jan: u have met ur competitor in posing. XD

the whole album of bekah.

we loved the 3rd pic cuz its jus so cute! dun u tink so?

n the last pic was bekah's attempt at the frog face. *winks-jan*

even her frog face is pretty

guess who

2007-08-03T15:59:00.001+08:00

hi, my name starts with an R

i am blogging for eileen today

she had a very good day today, because!

a visitor from London came and sat on her pretty couch :)

Eileen is going to introduce me at Convent's Installation Day :D

byebye!

MAKAN!

2007-07-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

we ate n ate n ate.

im so lazy to type n blog. so pics onli!

even pics are limited. was too busy eating. heh!

shanu was drinkin 'konon beer'

wen she finished half of it she had a second glass.

-get well soon addict-

-its crashin 2 e ground-catch it now or it'll never heal-

20072007

2007-07-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

overdued post! =D

pics from the weddin!

*to shenni n houling who wanted to c me in a skirt. NAH~*

e one in red is Heliz, my cousin

1. derren n chantelle
-the groom n e bride
2. those words were made from flowers. sweet!
3. mom allowed me to wear her amsterdam diamond ring o_O

AND OF CUZ.

the oli is 17. the giraffe is getting slightly old.
zirafah yang keliru memang amat BEST!

dun we jus LOVE olivia? =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLIVIA!

have a great n smashin year ahead!

things you never knew

2007-07-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

though Ben is gone for a week now i still miss his presence in my house.

i cried myself to sleep many nights n i thought of so many things i miss bout Ben. n i decided to list them down here..

1. he was reali a softie.
i remember one morning while i was waiting for sharm to pick me up for school, i was in e garden wif Ben n he was staring at the floor of my garden. curious, i approached him n suddenly he dropped on e floor- face down with one cheek on the floor n he immediately got up again n stared at the ground again.

Jus den, a half-dead cockroach literally fell from his cheek n Ben walked away. i went near the half dead cockroach only to realise Ben 'killed' the cockroach using his cheek. how weird! he is so gentle he woudn even bear kill a cockroach with his paws. he was jus a sweetie despite his size.

2. his ways with CATS n birds.
Dogs r enemies of cats. common sense. dogs chase cats. but not Ben. there used to be around 7 cats crowding around my dry kitchen area n Ben would not even go near them. cats used to right above his head n he wun even bark at the cats.

Birds used to eat Ben's dog-food n he would jus stare at the birds as if he din mind at all. truth was-he never minded! he allowed birds to bathe in his drinkin water n eat his food. he treated all his 'enemies' like his friends..

3. his fears
Ben reali hated chinese new years. the garden right next to my hse was the ultimate place for all the idiotic kids who used to play with fireworks. those big bangers n sudden loud sharp explosion was Ben's ultimate fear. he used to tremble with fear n anxiety hopin to get into the house for shelter.

he was so huge n furry dat my mom din allow him to enter. but seein e way he was so desperate changed her mind. Ben knew my mom din like him in e hse n he jus sat at a corner of e livin room n lied there quietly for e next few hrs.

4. benjamin or ben?
i remember there was a fren of my mom who was super arrogant n she was jus a pain. she used to condemn at how plump i was n how thin Tian Ying was. n she would squeeze our hands together n compare. she was fat n rough. ugh.

den once she came to my hse n saw Ben. she asked wat was his name n my mom said Ben. she got upset n started sayin how could we name our dog after her son. her son's name was Benjamin. she was goin on n on about how insulting it was till my mom couldn take it n told her ;
"Hey. my dog Ben, is older than ur son."

she secretly thought to herself that she could accuse her of naming her son after our dog. that fren of my mom's jus froze there. she was so dumbfounded dat she din noe wat to say. she jus shrug e'thin away. n it was true. Ben was indeed a few years older than her son.

5. his way with Rusk.
wen Rusk joined e family, Ben went right up to the small lil puppy to sniff him n he had his whole big body over the small Rusk. Ben often wet Rusk with his saliva but he NEVER did bit Rusk. NEVER. though Rusk constantly bit his hind legs n climbs over him, Ben never harmed or hurt Rusk at all.

wen Ben was gettin weaker, Rusk took revenge. he bit Ben till Ben bled, even wen Ben couldn walk he bit his legs, vigourously tore at Ben till Ben howled in pain. that was e most painful sight i ever had to witness. i did not talk to Rusk n was angry at him for many weeks for doin such a horrible thing to Ben. a part of me cant forgive Rusk for that.

6. till the day he was taken away
its the day that haunts me n will continue to haunt me till my memory of Ben disappears.. but i wun forget the special dog i had.. as many have said, he will live in me.

*sorry for the current posts bout Ben- i reali miss him too much*

goodbye ben

2007-07-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

07/07/07

nice date. good day for many. fun for some. but memorable for me.

i find it hard to believe n accept that Ben is really gone. He really left my home for good this time n there are no turning backs n hopeful thoughts. for those who still remember and know Ben, he is gone.

i woke up the morning of saturday, only to hear my mom tellin me dat Ben has to go. as usual, i ignored her n hoped it wouldn happen like wat happened a few times back. i lied on the sofa for barely few minutes till i heard Ben's chain rattle. i peeped out of e window n saw that a guy with a cowboy hat was tryin to get Ben into a cage labelled 'live animal'.

he was gone liddat.

Ben was put to sleep n he did not stuggle. i hope he is doing well now too. he was paralysed for about 3 months. his determination was always there. he never wanted to die even though he couldn walk. n he fought till the end. his body shranked, his faeces were abnormal cuz we suspect a tumour or some cancer in his internal body. he was onli strong mentally.

Ben was 14 yrs wen he passed on. (98 years in dog age) he has lived beyond the ages of normal dogs n i thank God for it. he was a loyal dog n the tamest german shepard ever. he has the best characters of a companion n a guard dog. he was soft, but yet fierce wen it comes to safety of our house.

he understood everything we told him. n even have his replies. he was a really really special fren. a dog i will remember. i will miss you Ben..

1. my hand n ben's paw

2. he licked my face

3. he's jus adorable

4. n very handsome too

i would not have let you go if i had a choice. im sorry..

Golden Doggie

2007-07-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

wassup!! practically have no time no blog so jus posting some pics up!
.
went for lunch at my mom's taiwanese friend's place at kolam ayer. jus behind thanabies' house. the whole area is surrounded by fencing n there is like special guard hse der. so e place is reali cool. bungalow lots.
.
met my old classmate Tian Ying! jus few months ago i was told she was leavin for UK to study law after year 12. gosh she looks so different! she jus came back.. man.. i suddenly feel so old. =( i used to be so much taller den her but now e'one is jus shooting up! but we'll have a grand get-together wen Rebekah comes back by august. I CANT WAIT! =)
.
den e auntie had a dog. initially its name was some caplang hokkien weird name called kau-kia. which means doggie or young dog. its crude la! e poor dog.
.
den she renamed the god to Golden. its a beta name den kau-kia la. i mean who in e world name their dog kau-kia. hahahha! its a female dog n its jus CRAZY. u tink Rusk is crazy, tink again. Rusk has met his competitor. Golden jus goes bonkers. poor me. i got 3 long scratches on my thighs from her long sharp claws. sobs.
.
she wouldn sit still so i onli managed to take pics of her while she was all over the place. n she wouldn close her mouth. maybe cuz her tongue is too long.. man.. i've never seen a crazier dog or as super-duper-hyperactive as her.
.

i like e last picture of Golden! she was peepin from the bushes.
.
den mom said we will let Golden n Rusk mate one day. n we'll have Golden-Rusk puppies! yay!! hahahahah! btw Golden is a rott-weiler mixed while Rusk is a labrador-speed mixed. im sure we'll have interesting puppies! hahah!
.

.
while i was wandering around my aunt's house dat day i saw somethin flyin above my head. there were sparrow birds! so cute! there was a pair n baby birds. n the parents were flyin ard the nest makin sure their babies were safe. hahaha.. they made a nest jus above my aunt's porch.
.

.
n my aunt said one of e babies fell out of the nest n died. poor thing!! n my uncle had to clear the deceased baby sparrow. poor xiao-yan-zhi. =(
.
*i ended up bloggin jus as much. sighs. oh well~*

-n its all coming back to me now-

Prisoner of Zenda

2007-06-24T22:21:00.000+08:00

our blogs are on strike!! we will not blog till there is less pressure n more time!!!

well at least for my blog. haha.. im going on blog-striking. so after this post god noes wen i'll blog again.
.

lots of happenings lately! The Prizoner of Zenda play took alot of time but it was sure fun for convent to hold another major event like it. the play was reali nice if u ask me. but it still can be improved in many ways. but definitely a great job by the juniors. =)
.

sat was mom's bd. fri night while i was havin dinner, my aunts n cousins came down to surprise my mom. not to mention i was surprised too. they din tell me e plan. n wen i ask my aunt, she told me "surprise!" -.-
.

den we had jap food at jyopari. wasnt as good as nijyumaru. so we were jokin ard sayin we went to japan to have dinner n e next day we will be going to korea. which actually indicates we ate jap food today n wil be havin korean food tomoro. (its funny in cantonese la)
.

den i rmb i cant join them to go korea. cuz i had POZ duties in the night. i was damn sad!! but wen i went for duties in e morning i had nothin to do. so i decided i wil go back earli at night den i could go korea. i went for korean food! 1st time! but i was feelin damn jakun. hahaha!
.

.

1. mom's bd cake fr niniq (green tea red bean somethin)
2. a figure from the korean restaurant
3. the stairway to the attic
4. our grilled plate!
.

shenni n oli followed me home n ate black mee after the morning shift.

.
1. me lookin damn retarded
2. my bear n some freaky-shenni-creature
3. poor oli looks sad
.
den at night we went for e premier show! i tink it was better den e morning show. cuz e atmosphere was jus great. mostly adults n not much of e weird malay guys n gals who reali were so annoyin. plus! the lights at night were so convincing! cuz it was pitch dark outside n the whole atmosphere was jus great...! loved e view from the back. =) but e pics are not so nice..
.

roses on the pillars and the entrance
.
while waiting for oli to be done wif her duties in e morning. i met jan n yvonne a.k.a The Posers. jan says she must live up to her name. so i joined them. *i dun deny dat its fun!*
.

.
oh yes the last pic looks reali disturbing right? it looks like im engulfing some pink slug. hahahha.. btw its jus my long-ish tongue.
.
den after korean food we went to danga bay for a lil while to digest fats. hahah.. den chao-ed home n play my cousin's PSP n nintendo (is that e spelling?)
.

took the brain age test n guess wat. my brain age was 65!!!!! how could that be??????? that device had better made some mistake!! my other cousins had 20 n 33. me? 65. i nearly killed dat nin-ten-doob. dumb ass. me pissed.
.

i got my 7th PENDRAGON book!!!! The Quillan Games. ALAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it has been awesome so far. cant wait to get my hands on the 8th!! im stickin to my book till i finish the 486th page.
.

"Hobey ho, lets go"

-could this be love?-

a lil mix

2007-06-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

i jus read a very interesting blog. very very interesting i must say.

i jus noticed 'it' was kinda desperate to be a good blogger, n for someone's attention. maybe some ppl would noe who the 'it' is.

dun worry its not one of u guys. someone kinda weird.

;)

oh btw! GOOD NEWS TO THE WORLD!!

my mom stopped takin care of the BRAT!!! peace on Earth!!

simple reason. his mom is a ~~leech~~bloodsucker.
or maybe for bad reasons his mom decides to ask for my mom's help again.

BUT NO!!! im free for now! yay!!
poor brat. no more 'entertainment' fr my mom.

i must say my mom is quite good wif him. no wonder im so good too.. =)
yeah yeahh puke all u wan. sheesh.

hey but my kids will be in good hands in future den! hahahaha!
tink i got bit too carried away. hee..

i dread sch n yet im excited to go back. it never fails. im cooped at home wen im havin my holidays n wen im havin my exams, everyone decides to have fun either outdoors or at home. whee.

n wen i mean everyone it may include my relatives from wherever. ask niya n oli. they know best.

i jus heard that we wil go to mersing like near august. n have some HUGE family gathering sometime in october in kl. everyone is invited. whoppee.

life is depressing.

oh n btw Miss Skinny B lost her puppy.

Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch watching TV when she realized she hasn't seen her pup for a long time and can't even think when or where she last saw him.

She has been putting up signs everywhere. If you have seen this dog, please let me know and I will notify her. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

i need a break. from the world and away from life.

is that even possible? sheesh.

-words that sting-

shy's 17

2007-06-06T16:42:00.000+08:00

shynee. join the number 17. everyone shout YAY!

(at least for those who are/were 17 XD)

we had a last min plan to go out n makan in pizza hut on tues.. onli 4 of us made it. but we had fun =)

oh n warning. there are cockroaches there. so watch out! all thanks to shy some noob baby cockroach which decided to take a stroll along the long aisle RIGHT NEXT TO ME & SHY! stupid noob.

alright. pics!

miss shenni was late but she ate faster den shy

they were 2 busy msgin. so shenni n i ate. =S

a very excited shynee opening her present

n she finally got her paris hilton shades

shenni decided to join shy

shenni: hey dun steal the limelight!

shy's 'bd slice of cake'

if we were thousand-airs we would get u e whole cake

BEWARE: shynee's album

feelin shy wen we sang the song softly

'i wish i could relive my dream 2 be a rich tai tai wif hl!!'

the tradition continues

shenni likes the cake!

the poser ~~next to the cockroach's aisle~~

oh n in case u were tyin to read wats written on shy's tee.. it actually says:

teach me to be shy

makes sense? im not sure. XD

-ure not lonely-n never alone-

shy's sour 17

2007-06-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

me: e remaining 2 hrs before ur sweet 16 ends

shy: sobs

shy: everyone is rubbing it in

me: awwww

shy: sad

shy: were u sad when ur abt to turn 17?

me: bit bit

me: but all e same, i enjoyed it

me: hahaha

me: i actually slept thru e critical minutes

shy: oh okay

shy: u slept early yeah?

me: nolohh

me: i slept at wat, 11.50

me: den woke up at 12.03

shy: WAT LA

my addict.

she turns 17 in jus an hour more. (i din get ur date wrong this yr!)

say goodbye to the baby 16! lets go ZOUK! whoots!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDICT!!

ure a significant special friend! *winks*

partay

2007-06-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

my YOUNGEST cousin just turned 25 yest. i feel soo young. im still 17-mugging for SPM-not even close to graduating lest working 17. sobs.

BUT! i get all the treats cuz im the youngest. =) so its ok. im still a kiddo whom my cousin still carry ard.. (well jus one big strong cousin)

we went to neway in cs to celebrate! they came down fr mersing n boy did we have fun or wat. haha.. we wanted go clubbing but our plans were changed.

my very strong cousin- dun try his muscles

the bd gal! yeow huey aka christine

some scallop baked thingy on seashells

the nice cream puffs (ate nearly 20 biji)

my youngest aunt! singing happily

we had drinks. n guess wat i went for.. alcohol. haha! not dat im addicted to it but i kinda like alcohol. mb its in my genes. had this drink called kampai which had teeny bit of alcohol in it..

usually i will go as red as a lobster/crab/prawn.. it lasts for a while usually with my heart thumpin hard n head pounding.. den after i get over it im ok again. i have good blood circulation. REALI! =)

btw i drank 3 bottles of kampai. 2 kampai ice- which is vodka and lemon and 1 kampai blueberry. sweet =D

my kampai blueberry kampai ice (i love this)

a pic under my kampai blueberry* this pic attracts me

our bucket of kampai-s

wana c who can drink? haha

our heineken bucket

bd gal makin wish spoilt by her brother

secret recipe's caramel cheese cake (MUST TRY!!!!)

our 'champagne' fr Neway

my glass of 'champagne' (i like pics like these)

den we drank n sang from 7pm to 3 am. so clubbing plans smashed. sobs. but i couldn take e time. i conked out after dinner. hee =)

GOT ME! (i cant believe i slept thru e horrible singin) whoops!

i need to watch america's next top model. they are in spain!! mb they felt it was a good country. rich in culture. great for photoshoots and flirting wif guys. not to mention a great IU country. =)

-i never wan u to go-

when cloning goes wrong

2007-05-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

im beginning to like emails from my aunt.

im guessin there r ppl who like this creature

i like this creature. cute =)

our dearest mokmeng and captain barbosa's monkey

i like pics. do u?

i like my sentences short. do u?

i like surprises. do u?

im deprived of my book. im sad n depressed and extremely upset.

im disturbed. i cant read my book 7 n 8.

i like my book. do u?

im sad. are u?

2007-05-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

we were discussing.. bout how some les-tics use words like GOMG. no its not supposed to be gong or anythin else. its GOMG. everyone echo GOMG.

n they came up wif a new song.
i guess it'll sound nice.
by a new band in town.
called complicated plan.

i guess lyrics can be found in e blogs of the band members.

composers/song lyric writers/producers/singers:-
*sri sumbhajee
*will turner
*captain barbosa's monkey (god noes how that monkey can compose lyrics)
*jack sparrow's mother, mrs sparrow
*sao feng
*n the nameless japanese woman who uses thick makeup

for more details visit their blogs.
for now... sao feng.. out~

-it was good hearing those again-

very late indeed

2007-05-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here ok this was specially for olivia. all the best!

maths (ugh)

2007-05-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

addmaths was pure hell. do i hear some cheers???? (YES!!!!) good.

how i HATE it wen plans screw up. it was all planned. perfecto. done. set. on. good to go. ITS ALL RUINED NOW LA!!!!!! grrrr. F e ppl at cathay. ish.

since exams r over (for now) i plan to sleep all day til i get fat n rot on my bed. eww. dun blame me. im jus currently very pissed n disturbed. dun talk to me now. i wil bite your head off.

since addmaths was so damn screwed lets all do simple interesting factual maths. yay.

MARRIAGE MATHS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETICS
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

time is NEVER on our side.

-i like it wen night falls-

for women onli

2007-05-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

im bored.

i got this email from my aunt. yes u got me right. my aunt sent me this about classification of *women's assets*.. so jus enjoy n if u pls notice e faces of e pervertic guys.

(i hope no guys read my blog for now)

ok. if anyone is not able to take jokes or may feel uncomfortble, dun continue scrollin down. (especially after 'D')
parental guidance is adviced.

otherwise, ENJOY! =)

(i never knew this size existed)

-i wan ben to live-

one heck of a day

2007-05-15T14:32:00.000+08:00

wen e'one was at home muggin for bio on sat.. i was charged guilty of being out in jusco tebrau city for e whole afternoon. gulp.
.
yes yes.. i wanted to stay at home.. my mom dragged me out of bed n cuz it was supposed to e mothers' day present for e 'mothers'.. not to mention VERY vain mothers.. so i followed. gulp.
.
long story cut short.. it was e estee lauder thing.. where u get ur 'glamour shots' taken.. so whole jing bang went up to jusco earli n THANK GOD the crowd wasn der yet.. or else our silly poses wil be witnessed by many many more ppl.. *phew*
.
gals wil be gals. we jus love pictures. =) AGREE????

my cousin- heliz before e make up n shoot

pure n innocent

after a whole lot of make up n hair-do... we took our pics! it was fun.. but kinda scary.. not forgettin the sisssy-fied david fella.. god.. haha.. n i had my hair curled! 1st time ever! it din wana curl.. had use lots of hair spray for it to last few hrs.. it went back straight in bout 4 hrs.. sobs.. i was prayin sooo hard i wun meet anyone but yes i still did.. great..

my second youngest aunt
she had e nicest hair-do among us! WILD =)

notice e difference

make up works wonders

ok so this was our 'perfect shots'
did i not mention photoshop work miracles

real miracles indeed

this is original! not photoshop-ed =)

heliz decided we look good wen we look LCLY

n thats my shot =)

i look at least 20 there. God i feel old.

shots r not so clear here.. btw e quality of e pics were quite good.. den we went to daiman pekin to have mother's day cum bd dinner.. youngest aunt's bd on sun.. we had 2 cakes! yum... one home made blueberry n another choc one fr niniq. heavenly.

the bd gal/woman

blueberry

that was e bomb.

i LOVED e choc cake!!! ahhh!!!!! it was sooo good.. it tastes reali nice wif milo. no kiddin. go niniq n try! its somewhere in pelangi. near jln kelabu, behind stulang view. MUST try if ure a choc fan..

should i or should i not go to school tomoro...?? tell me someone..

-curlin up-

new way of learning bm sastera..

2007-05-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

hey ppl! exam period. yes yes.. sejarah was pure shit n we all screwed it up. XD
there r more pics! will mail it to u if u ask me nicely.. hee.. well here r some..

caught red handed!

our makan beauty

guys dancing salsa

oh yes nessa.. pray hard.

sp's signature pose

pretty hot chicks

i had my wall updated! hee.. mom said it looks so messy.. sobs.. but there r ppl who admire CIC n Zo's creativity for art.. =) outside visitors who said wow n stared at my wall..

today had bm tuition.. as usual.. din do my rumusan cuz we were busy memorisin di hadapan pulau n e characters..

it was on e table.. till we transfered it onto paper. all thanks to shanu's beautiful work of art.. hee.. fhaleene. (my eyes r gg to get poked) shh!

den came back n e poor brat got major scoldin n beatin fr his mom.. his butt had cane marks which swelled up.. poor child i thought.. e onli time (as i told many ppl) i sincerely tinks he is cute is wen he is about to cry n wen he's asleep..

til mom taught him how to write e number '2'. now i kinda tink he deserves some hard spankin.. he reali sucks at studyin.. brat.

-findin comfort in u-

more pics....

2007-05-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

ok. pics before, durin n after iu. whoever wans it jus take all u wan. we had fun. i laugh each time i see e videos n pics. so we share e laughter. haha.. take care ppl!

i wish we had more chances to work like this again.

yee chen..! HAMSAP! (such a cheeky smile) nessa alert.

god. our juniors are abit.. off.

fuh~ suba being backdrop gal

ticketing corner

niya: u get away fr my hair! its nice!

aww.. dun dey look happy??

put that doll down jan.. its scary...

wee~ but wats hui yen n julia doin???

bod-s 07 (without esther.. sobs..)

*ISM TEAM- do your best tomoro! make CICJB proud once more!*

-i miss ur stares-its gentle yet beautiful-

backstage fun!

2007-04-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

bye pn habibah! (y din she leave in 2003? darn.)

we had one more chance to perform!! yay! den we wasted a bloody good time at backstage.. hee.. we were havin fun.. bringin down e deco n stuff.. reali sad to c ppl vandalisin our stuff.. but! we still laughed our asses off.. not forgettin pics!! =)

oli n daph being nerdy

zo n bf (chacha-s)

us!! us!! flamenco-s!! =)

check out e sesat adeline at e side

posers!!!

salsa dancers! niya not ard la...

its nessa being herself.

n her being herself again.

i LOVE this pic. it means alot.. go ponder.

-precious-

20th IU day

2007-04-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

iu is over. ITS OVER!! its a mixed feelin.. sad n relieved.. our last yr.. my last event.. my very last iu. n THANK GOD it was a success.

wana thank all BODs n itrs for all e hard work n effort.. thk u all so much esp e f5! 1990 babies rock!! mrs ignatius- who kept supportin n encouragin us.. pn emilda n pn geetha for that lil boost of encouragement before e event.. est.. even though she wasn der.. n melissa.. thks so much for our modern dance... i hope we did u proud.. thanks!!!!

million thanks to BOD-s.

nit for all e pr jobs n overseeing e'thin..

est for all e moral support..

sharm for all e doorgifts, souveniors n letters.. cultural dance!

shy for e best booklets..

oli for controllin our finance n our dedication songs..

shanu for all e funding money n wonderful food..

hl for e best deco n great t-shirt plus! OUR very own poster!

shenni for e articles n e'thin else..

i loved e presentation. wana declare dat i DIN do it this time. it was fr serah n kimberly.. thks gals! great great job.. thks for being my PA for 3 days.. =) n bearing all my nonsense.. haha..

my 3 flamenco teachers! vanessa lee, preyathinee n fiona tan! we did have lots n lots of fun.. esp wen its a fusion of ballet, classical indian dance n hiphop.. hahaha! (winks) reali glad to have great juniors like u guys..

MY MODERN DANCERS!!! jan, oli, sp, hl, chun ling, shenni, shy, niya, est n our choreographer.. melissa! thk u all so much for bearin wif all my screaming n practices.. but i hope u guys all enjoyed it! we din forget u melissa! we stil owe u a big big treat ya?

i felt a gush of satisfaction wen i announced at e end dat our cicjb's 20th IU day was a success.. chills were running down my spine n i reali wanted time to turn back.. so dat i could do it all over again.. n i would gladly do it again..

leavin u all wif some pics.. more to come if i manage to stop myself fr repeatin e videos.. till den, adios amigos! =)

cicjb 07

back of e hall (thks zoey XD)

articles + posters

-CICJB did it. as one family-